Part 13 (1/2)

Waiter--Why, here is your sandwich! You ate your check.

One of the Soph.o.m.ores wants to take Psychology because she says she understands that a course in it teaches you to do your hair up in a lovely Psyche knot--A Psychic Phenomenon!

Jean Rice has burst into poetry, viz.:

”Come to my arms, You bundle of charms!

With the greatest enthusiasm I will clasp you to my bosiasm.”

Lines written to Miss Polly Kent:

There was a young lady named Kent, Who declared she had not a cent, She remembered a quarter She had hid in her garter, But on looking found that, too, had went.

A touching poem addressed to Miss Grace Greer, of Chicago, Ill.

Miss Greer is the champion gum-chewer of Gresham.

There was a young maid from the West, Who chewed gum with such marvelous zest, That they named a committee, Both tactful and witty Who suggested she let her jaws rest.

THE CORRESPONDENCE CURE.

BY PAGE ALLISON.

CHAPTER I.

”That's just what I'll do for you, Hal. I'll write to this Uncle Sam person and get him to give you one of his letter treatments,” said Mr.

Allen, Hal's daddy.

Jo Allen was so young that his incorrigible young son called him by his first name and regarded him as ”one of the fellers” instead of a father; consequently he thought his own judgment as reliable as his Dad's and paid as much heed to his orders and requests as he would to one of the ”fellers.”

”Thunder! I ain't sick. What I gotter have a treatment for?”

”I didn't mean anything like paregoric, or milk and eggs and a teaspoonful of this in half a gla.s.s of water after meals. It seems to be something like this: an old man, calling himself 'Uncle Sam,' advertises in the _Times_ that he will write fatherly letters to difficult boys for $50.00 a course.”

”Aw, Jo! I swear, I bet it's a lot of stuff about 'do unto others.'” Hal always objected to other people's suggestions.

”Well, we'll take a chance on it. You don't like my methods, if you can call 'em that. You are my first and only offspring and I don't seem to have much maternal instinct and no judgment where you are concerned.

Son, it is as hard for you not to have your mother as it is for me not to have my wife.”

”It's all right, Jo, you know more 'bout being a father than I do 'bout being a son. But bring on your Uncle Sam and we can see what will happen. I don't have to read the letters if he writes a lot of rot.”

”Nine o'clock! I ought to be at the office and and you ought to be at school. Don't play hookey again to-day,” Jo Allen said as he reached for his hat.