Part 65 (1/2)
”The h.e.l.l. Yes. What's going on with you? You mind telling me?”
More paces in silence. ”Is that an order?”
”What the h.e.l.l is this 'order'? I asked you a question. Is there something the matter with a question?” Justin stopped on the walk where it crossed the sidewalk from Wing Two, in the evening chill with the flash of lightning in the distance. ”Something about Yanni? Was Was it Yanni? Or did it Yanni? Or did I I say something?” say something?”
”Hey, I'm glad it worked, I am am glad. There's nothing at all wrong with me. Or you. Or Will.” glad. There's nothing at all wrong with me. Or you. Or Will.”
”Addictions. Was that the keyword?”
”Let's talk about it later.”
”Talk where, then? At home? Is it that safe?”
Grant gave a long sigh, and faced the muttering of thunder and the flickering of lightnings on Wing Two's horizon. It was a dangerous time. Fools lingered out of doors, in the path of the wind that would sweep down-very soon.
”It's frustration,” he said. ”That they won't take Will's word on it. That they know so d.a.m.n much because they're CITs.”
”They have to be careful. For Will's sake, if nothing else. For the sake of the other programs he tests, -”
”CITs are a necessary evil,” Grant said placidly, evenly, against the distant thunder. ”What would we azi possibly do without them? Teach ourselves, of course.”
Grant made jokes. This was not one of them. Justin sensed that. ”You think they're not going to listen to him.”
”I don't know what they're going to do. You want to know what's the greatest irritation in being azi, Supervisor mine? Knowing what's right and sane and knowing they won't listen to you.”
”That's not exactly an exclusive problem.”
”Different.” Grant tapped his chest with a finger. ”There's listening and listening. They'll always listen listen to me, when they won't, you. But they won't to me, when they won't, you. But they won't listen listen to me the way they do you. No more than they do Will.” to me the way they do you. No more than they do Will.”
”They're interested in his safety. Listening Listening has nothing to do with it.” has nothing to do with it.”
”It has everything to do with it. They won't take his word-”
”-because he's in the middle of the problem.”
”Because an azi is always in the middle of the problem, and d.a.m.n well outside the decision loop. Yanni's Yanni's in the middle of the problem, he's biased as h.e.l.l with CIT opinions and CIT designs, does that disqualify him? No. It makes him an in the middle of the problem, he's biased as h.e.l.l with CIT opinions and CIT designs, does that disqualify him? No. It makes him an expert.” expert.”
”1 listen.” listen.”
”h.e.l.l, you wouldn't let me touch that routine.”
”For your own d.a.m.n-good, -Grant.” Somehow that came out badly, about halfway. ”Well, sorry, but I care. That's not a CIT pulling rank. That's a friend who needs you stable. How's that?”
”d.a.m.n underhanded.”
”Hey.” He took Grant by the shoulder. ”Hit me on something else, all right? Let's don't take the work I'd test my own sanity on and tell me you're put out because I won't trust my judgment on it either. I'd give you anything.
I'd let you-”
”There's the trouble.”
”What?”
”Let me.”
”Friend, Grant. d.a.m.n, you're flux-thinking like h.e.l.l, aren't you?” Grant. d.a.m.n, you're flux-thinking like h.e.l.l, aren't you?”
”Ought to qualify me for a directors.h.i.+p, don't you think? Soon as we prove we're crazy as CITs we get our papers and then we're qualified not to listen to azi Testers either.”
”What happened? What happened, Grant? You want to level with me?”
Grant looked off into the dark awhile. ”Frustration, that's all. I-got turned down-for permission to go to Planys.”
”Oh, d.a.m.n.”
”I'm not his son. Not-” Grant drew several slow breaths. ”Not qualified in the same way. d.a.m.n, I wasn't going to drop this on you. Not tonight.”
”G.o.d.” Justin grabbed him and held on to him a moment. Felt him fighting for breath and control.
”I'm tempted to say I want tape,” Grant said. ”But d.a.m.ned if I will. d.a.m.ned d.a.m.ned if I will. It's politics they're playing. It's-just what they can do, that's all. We just last it through, the way you did. Your project worked, dammit. Let's celebrate. Get me drunk, friend. Good and drunk. I'll be fine. That's the benefit of flux, isn't it? Everything's relative. You've worked so d.a.m.n long for this, we've both worked for it. No surprise to me. I knew it would run. But I'm glad you proved it to them.” if I will. It's politics they're playing. It's-just what they can do, that's all. We just last it through, the way you did. Your project worked, dammit. Let's celebrate. Get me drunk, friend. Good and drunk. I'll be fine. That's the benefit of flux, isn't it? Everything's relative. You've worked so d.a.m.n long for this, we've both worked for it. No surprise to me. I knew it would run. But I'm glad you proved it to them.”
”I'll go to Denys again. He said-” said-”
Grant shoved back from him, gently. ”He said maybe. Eventually. When things died down. Eventually isn't now, evidently.”
”d.a.m.n that kid.” that kid.”
Grant's hands bit into his arms. ”Don't say that. Don't-even think it.”
”She just has lousy timing. Lousy Lousy timing. timing. That's That's why they're so d.a.m.n nervous. . . .” why they're so d.a.m.n nervous. . . .”
”Hey. Not her timing. None of it's-her timing. Is it?”
Thunder cracked. Flashes lit the west, above the cliffs. Of a sudden the perimeter alarm went, a wailing into the night. Wind was coming, enough to break the envelope.
They grabbed each other by the sleeve and the arm and ran for shelter and safety, where the yellow warning lights flashed a steady beacon above the entrance.
iv ”Dessert?” uncle Denys asked. At Changes, Changes, at lunch, which was where she had agreed to meet him; and Ari shook her head. at lunch, which was where she had agreed to meet him; and Ari shook her head.
”You can, though. I don't mind.”
”I can skip it. Just the coffee.” Denys coughed, and stirred a little sugar in. ”I'm trying to cut down. I'm putting on weight. You used to set a good example.”
Fifth and sixth try at sympathy. Ari stared at him quite steadily.
Denys took a paper from his pocket and laid it down on the table. ”This is yours. It did pa.s.s. Probably better without you-this year.”
”I'm a Special?”