Part 8 (1/2)

POVERTY is only a relative affair, after all; it is X minus the things you want.

HEAVEN must be something like an afternoon tea, as far as the dearth of men is concerned.

FIGURES do lie; especially if they are the ones that express a woman's age--or the time a man gets home at night.

A MAN'S favorite way of answering a woman's accusations is to tell her how pretty she looks when she gets excited.

MATRIMONY is the price of love--divorce, the rebate.

[Ill.u.s.tration]

WHEN a millionaire's heart is touched it makes a hollow sound.

THE woman who is wedded to an art and also to a man pays the full penalty for that kind of bigamy.

IN the love game n.o.body knows exactly what he wants; but a wise man tries to get what he thinks he wants and a wise woman tries to think she wants what she gets.

A MAN isn't as curious as a woman--because usually a woman tells him everything before he has a chance to become curious.

THE only original thing about some men is original sin.

HOLD on tight to your temper 'round the curves of matrimony.

[Ill.u.s.tration]

COLD water never cured a fever and a woman's indifference never put out the divine fire of a man's love.

LOVE is a sort of club sandwich affair, composed of large slices of selfishness, seasoned with pa.s.sion, spiced with jealousy and covered with thin layers of sentiment.

A MAN may admire a superior woman, but when it comes to marrying he prefers a goose who will cackle at his jokes to an owl who is likely to hoot at them.

A MAN always remembers a girl's first kiss the longest--because usually that's the only one he had any trouble in getting.

TO keep a man's interest at high pressure deal yourself out to him in h.o.m.oeopathic doses; one only wants more of anything that one cannot get enough of.

[Ill.u.s.tration]

THOSE who have tried matrimony, like those who have finished with the morning paper, always say, ”There's nothing in it;” but somehow that never keeps the rest of us from wanting to see for ourselves.

WONDER if it never occurs to the woman who marries a man to reform him that the sort of person who is headstrong enough to have made a ”past”

for himself isn't likely to sit quietly by and let somebody else carve out his future for him.

IT is so much easier for some men to go to the devil for a woman than to go to work for her.

ALAS that the fever of love should so often be followed by a chill!

IN THE modern love affair woman proposes, G.o.d disposes and man--just dozes.

[Ill.u.s.tration]