Part 6 (1/2)

'-G.o.d, isn't that beautiful?'

'Ow wow wow wow wow wow wow wooooooowww...'

'-Brings tears to your eyes doesn't it?'

'Ow wow wow wooooow, wow wow wow wow wow woooooowwwwwwww...'

'-Got a tissue anyone?'

'Wow wow ow WOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWW...'

'-Nice rubato.'

'Wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wooooooow...'

'-He could get a recording contract with a voice like that.'

'Wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow woow woow wooooooooooooooing towards me with Trigger, smiling and waving. Blast. I couldn't look for him now.

'It's gone brilliantly,' she said. 'I think we've raised over four thousand pounds. Thanks for being such a great judge. Here's a small token of our appreciation,' she handed me a bottle of champagne. 'It's a rather nice one, actually. Vintage-1987. That was a very good year, apparently.'

'Really?' I said faintly. Not for me.

'James likes to keep a good cellar.'

'I see. Well, thank you,' I said. I had no intention of drinking it.

'And I do hope you get some new clients out of this.'

'Who knows? I was just glad to help out. It all seems to be winding down now,' I added.

'It does look like it.' People were strolling across the lawn towards the gates. 'Perhaps we'll see you again some time,' she added pleasantly. 'I'll let you know how I get on with this young man's ”education”,' she grinned, nodding at Trigger. She was so natural and nice. I found myself wis.h.i.+ng that she wasn't. It made the situation somehow worse.

'Yes. Do let me know. I'd love that.'

I walked towards my car, feeling demoralized. I'd failed in what I set out to do. And I knew I'd never get another chance to confront Jimmy, calmly and quietly, in the way I might have done today. If I wrote to him at the House of Commons, he'd claim he was too busy to see me, or he'd simply ignore me. I knew Jimmy. I knew how his mind worked.

'Okay, Herman,' I sighed. 'Let's go.' I opened the driver's door and was. .h.i.t by a sudden blast of scalding air. Despite the shade from a huge chestnut, the interior was like a bread oven. We'd just have to wait. As I opened the pa.s.senger door I glanced at the house, and suddenly saw Jimmy framed in an upstairs window, standing there, looking down. He hovered for a moment, then disappeared. Disconcerted, I put Herman in the back and got in. The car was still hot, but I just wanted to leave. I'd wound down all the windows and was putting on my seatbelt, struggling with the clasp, when I was aware of a sudden shadow across the dashboard.

'h.e.l.lo, Miranda.' I looked up at Jimmy. He was blocking out the sun. 'I thought you were ignoring me,' he said. He was doing his best to sound composed, but he was slightly breathless. He'd clearly just run down the stairs.

'You thought I was ignoring you?' I said, with a serenity which surprised me. 'I had the impression it was the other way round.'

'Oh not at all,' he replied. 'But I've been very busy, what with so many people to talk to and, well, I just wanted to thank you for helping us out.'

'That's fine,' I said coolly. 'Don't mention it.' I looked into his grey eyes, trying to read the expression in them. 'And of course it's in a very good cause. I remember how keen you always were on animal issues,' I added boldly, my heart pounding.

'Hmm,' he said. 'That's right.' He leaned against the neighbouring car and folded his arms. 'And you, Miranda, you were very enthusiastic yourself,' he said pleasantly. 'Quite a fanatic in fact.'

'Oh I wouldn't say that.' Now I understood what his agenda was. He was trying to establish my att.i.tude.

'Do you ever think about those days?' he asked casually. He looked away for a moment, then returned his gaze to me. This was what he really wanted to know.

'Do I ever think about those days?' I repeated slowly. He was hoping that I'd say, 'No. Never. Forgotten all about it.' 'Yes,' I said. 'Actually, I do. I've been thinking about them quite a lot lately, as it happens.'

'Really? But it was so long ago.'

'That's true. But at the same time it feels like yesterday in some ways. Doesn't it to you?'

'No.' He'd said it firmly, but I saw a flicker of anxiety. 'But you look just the same, Miranda,' he said, trying to steer the conversation back to safer waters.

'You look quite different-I hardly recognized you.'

'Well,' he touched his head and grinned. 'I don't have quite so much hair. Anyway, I just wanted to say ”hi” and well, thanks. So goodbye then, Miranda. It was nice to see you.' He began walking towards the house.

'Can I ask you a question, Jimmy?' I called.

He stiffened slightly. 'My name's James,' he corrected me.

'Is it? Okay, James,' I tried again. 'What I want to know is...' My mouth felt dry as dust. 'Don't you ever feel sorry for what you did?' He stared at me, then blinked a few times. 'Doesn't your conscience ever p.r.i.c.k you?'

'I don't know what you mean.'

'Yes you do. There's no point pretending. There really isn't. At least, not with me.'