Part 44 (1/2)

If you expect company, have every thing prepared, that can be done with safety, the day previous. In summer there are but few things that can be done without risk of spoiling: a ham or tongue may he washed ready to boil; castors and salt-stands put in order, and pastry or dessert prepared, that will not spoil by being kept a day.

In winter, many things can be kept for days in a state of preparation for cooking; and it greatly a.s.sists the work of the family, to have every thing done beforehand.

Do with as few domestics as possible; a.s.sist with the work yourself, rather than keep one too many. Those that take orphan children to bring up, are often rewarded for their trouble; as sometimes a girl of fifteen will be more useful than one much older: and where a family is small it does very well, but in large families, a little girl is so often called from her work, that it has a tendency to unsettle and make her careless.

Never allow your children to call on or interrupt servants when at their work or meals, to do any thing which a child could do for itself; children that treat domestics with respect, will generally find them willing to render any a.s.sistance in their power. I have known a few housekeepers, who have kept the same servants for years, who have a.s.sisted in rearing the children, until they almost viewed them as their own, and these were not faultless. If they had been discharged for trifles, they might have wandered, from one family to another, without being attached to any, until they became so indifferent, as not to be worthy of employ, but by the kindness and patience of their employer, they became so grateful and attached, as to be a treasure to her family.

When they become weary of such constant servitude, would it not be better, instead of discharging, to give them time for rest and recreation in visiting their friends? I have known them to return, renewed in health and spirits.

Encourage them to lay by as much of their wages as they can possibly spare, in such inst.i.tutions as are thought the most safe, that they may have something to look to in case of sickness, or any event which would require its use.

Promote their reading in such books as are suited to their capacities; they sometimes have a little leisure, that could be well filled up in this way. I have found it to increase the happiness of those under my care, to encourage a fondness for reading, and improving their minds; it tends to keep them from unprofitable company, and too much visiting, to which so many are addicted.

Young girls should make and mend their own clothes, and keep them in good order, and they should be taught to knit. The material of which stockings are composed costs but little, and they wear much better than those that are bought. Knitting fills up leisure moments, and promotes industrious habits; and when age comes on, they will have a resource, although it appears so simple, yet if it is not learned while young it is hard to acquire when old.

When servants are guilty of faults that cannot be looked over, instead of publicly reproving them, take an opportunity when alone, and talk coolly; tell them of your sorrow at being obliged to notice their conduct, encourage them to pursue a different course, and that you will forgive them if they will strive to do better. I have known them much improved by this mode of treatment.

By inspecting every department, not only will waste be prevented, but dishonesty. In cities many persons find it necessary to lock up nearly every thing; and it is a lamentable state of things that so few are to be trusted.

Sometimes treating servants with confidence will have a good effect; but let them be aware that you have a knowledge of every thing that is going on.

Some young persons are completely at the mercy of their domestics. I have known great uneasiness to be experienced, and much loss; but by showing a little moral courage, and discharging those that are irreclaimable, an ascendancy was gained. Never suffer them to treat you with disrespect or impertinence. If it is known that they will be discharged for these faults, they will be on their guard.

If you have taken a boy or girl, to bring up as a domestic, endeavour to teach them, at least to spell and read; they are sometimes very fond of their books, and if you once get them to reading, it will become to them a favorite evening amus.e.m.e.nt; I have known them take up their books on every occasion of leisure, I have seen boys that worked hard through the day, spend all the evening with their books, slate, and occasionally a little writing. Sometimes, I have in the evening felt fatigued and listless, and would much rather read, and amuse myself, than go out to teach two or three in the kitchen; but in attending to this, (which I consider a duty,) have felt a sweet reward--indeed, their grateful thanks expressed by words, have encouraged me to keep on. I have thought a little instruction in this way, arouses their faculties, and tends to make them more industrious. When I have been prevented from teaching them for some time, by indisposition, or other causes, I have observed they were not so cheerful in the performance of their work. If they are reading any thing they do not fully understand, take a little time to explain it to them. It will be, my young friends, like sowing the good seed, and you, as well as they, will receive the reward.

I wish to encourage you in the most affectionate manner to attend to _this_ duty; you will find it will strengthen you in the performance of others. ”The more we exert our faculties, the more we can accomplish.

He that does nothing, renders himself incapable of doing any thing.

While we are executing one work, we are preparing ourselves to undertake another.”

REMARKS.

Remarks on Carving, &c.

I do not think it necessary to say much on the subject of carving, as those who are accustomed to sit at a well ordered table, and who observe the manner of the host and hostess, can soon acquire the art, both of carving and helping with ease. And when placed at the head of their own table, the knowledge thus gained will be found a great a.s.sistance.

The proper time for children to acquire good habits at meals, is not when there is company; it should be an every day lesson. As when parents are engaged with their friends or guests, they have no time to devote to the manners of their children, and to reprove them at table is very unpleasant, as well as mortifying.

Young children will soon acquire the manner of sitting quietly till they are helped, if they are made to understand that they will not be permitted to eat with their parents and friends, unless they behave with propriety.

I have thought it a great a.s.sistance to the good order of a large family, for every member to be punctual in their attendance at meals, and all to sit down together, with a short pause before the carving and helping commences. In those moments of quiet, the heart is sometimes awakened to a feeling of grat.i.tude to the Almighty dispenser of our blessings.

At the table, different members of the family meet; and where affection and kindness, those aids to true politeness, preside, it is truly a delightful treat to be the guest of such a family.

Every symptom of selfishness should be discouraged, for if suffered to take root in a child, it lays the foundation of much that is disagreeable to themselves and others.

Inculcate this excellent rule, ”of doing unto others, what you wish others to do unto you,” and always preferring others to yourself.