Part 25 (2/2)

F.--You have won the wager.

FOOL.--I once read the report of an actual conversation upon a scientific subject between a fool and a physician.

DOCTOR.--Indeed! That sort of conversation commonly takes place between fools only.

F.--The reporter had chosen to confound orthography: he spelt fool ”phool,” and physician ”fysician.” What the fool said was, therefore, preceded by ”PH;” the remarks of the physician were indicated by the letter ”F.”

D.--This must have been very confusing.

F.--It was. But no one discovered that any liberties had been taken with orthography.

D.--You tumour!

FOOL.--Suppose you had amongst your menials an ailing oyster?

DOCTOR.--Oysters do not ail.

F.--I have heard that the pearl is the result of a disease.

D.--Whether a functional derangement producing a valuable gem can be properly termed, or treated as, a disease, is open to honest doubt.

F.--Then in the case supposed you would not favour excision of the abnormal part?

D.--Yes; I would remove the oyster.

F.--But if the pearl were growing very rapidly this operation would not be immediately advisable.

D.--That would depend upon the symptomatic diagnosis.

F.--Beast! Give me air!

DOCTOR.--I have been thinking--

FOOL.--(Liar!)

D.--That you ”come out” rather well for a fool.

Can it be that I have been entertaining an angel unawares?

F.--Dismiss the apprehension: I am as great a fool as yourself. But there is a way by which in future you may resolve a similar doubt.

D.--Explain.

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