Part 45 (1/2)

”No, because you sit down first,” I said with a s doas not a cure” He carefully sat up ”There The room is still My limbs obey And I never lost consciousness” He sounded very relieved

”The men--as all that about?”

It was then that he revealed just how ill, momentarily, he had been He had to reach for the scroll and read it before he could answer

”The Senate hasled forth like a sacrificial animal ”This is impossible” Obviously he had no clear recollection of exactly what the men had said when they presented it, any restrictions they had mentioned He shook his head ”A dictator is appointed for a teular offices of state--Consul, praeter, censor, tribune It is not a norovernment, because the dictator's power supersedes all those other offices Dictator for lifethat's another word for 'king' For what is a king but a dictator for life?” He was thinking out loud ”This cannot be”

”But”--I pointed to the scroll--”there it is, in writing”

”It must be a trick Was I meant to refuse it? Perhaps that hat it was” He shook his head again ”But I do not remember what I said”

”You did not refuse it, of that I am sure”

”How do you know?”

”The men looked displeased Perhaps you did not accept it with enough pleasure”

”Pleasure was not what I was feeling--dizziness and stiffness was”

”But they they do not know that,” I reminded him ”Here” I put some pillows behind him so that he could lean back comfortably ”Tomorrohen you are fully recovered, you will have to attend the Senate Thank thereat honor That is, if you intend to accept it You always could refuse, you know” I dangled the decision before him ”You could say that you wrestled with your conscience all night and realized, for the good of Rome, you must decline it” do not know that,” I reminded him ”Here” I put some pillows behind him so that he could lean back comfortably ”Tomorrohen you are fully recovered, you will have to attend the Senate Thank thereat honor That is, if you intend to accept it You always could refuse, you know” I dangled the decision before him ”You could say that you wrestled with your conscience all night and realized, for the good of Roood of Roer now, but quiet ”It is for ood that I should refuse it”

”You have never yet refused anything that fate has awarded you,” I said ”That is the essence of your character”

The next day all of Roance and insolence of Caesar in refusing to rise when the senators caated hi pride, and since only the truth about his illness would have exonerated hiht of the accusations One other way lay open to him--to decline the honor But as I had known, had he been able to do that, he would not have been Caesar

The next incident happened when he was returning fro of bystanders hailed hi (I wondered then, and I still wonder--were they planted there by his ene hi?) He replied, ”I a but Caesar” Then all Ro until an invisible hand placed a diadem on Caesar's statue on the Rostra, and one of the tribunes of the people had it removed Caesar ordered the diadem to be dedicated to Jupiter, Rome's only ruler Still, Ro place--Caesar's, his enemies', or were they true indications of popular senti the initiative out of the invisible hands, which I kneere not Caesar's Let Caesar stage a show of his own to proclaiht to discuss it, and bade not only Caesar but Lepidus and Antony to come Antony was necessary to the plot, as he was indeed now the priest of the Julian luperci luperci as Caesar had joked--or threatened--earlier And Antony, as Consul, would have a part in a certain ceremony due to be enacted soon Lepidus was Caesar's Master of the Horse, the second-in-command to a dictator, and I kneas loyal to Caesar Beyond Antony and Lepidus, I could not be sure of anyone else as Caesar had joked--or threatened--earlier And Antony, as Consul, would have a part in a certain ceremony due to be enacted soon Lepidus was Caesar's Master of the Horse, the second-in-command to a dictator, and I kneas loyal to Caesar Beyond Antony and Lepidus, I could not be sure of anyone else

It had been dark for several hours, and all the lauest He shook the evening da toafter hours makes me feel like a conspirator”

”That is just e are,” I said ”Conspirators against your conspirators-- whoever they ed to find their way in through the s and doors, rattling the la wavering shadows on the painted walls Upstairs I could hear Ptole closed shoes, and yet the chill of the floor h the soles and into my feet Until this winter in Rome, I had not appreciated just how very coldhim into a small chamber that I had already heated with a brazier

”I have becouest innow, it seems as if it was always yours”

”It does not feel like home,” I admitted ”And soon--”

”Yes, yes, I know We will speak of it later,” he said ”I have plans that I think will please you in that regard”

Before he could say anything further, I heard Lepidus arrive The servants ushered his, fair Queen I am about to die of curiosity” He looked at Caesar

”Nay, it is not ,” said Caesar ”I alowing brazier and rubbed his hands vigorously ”I hope it does not involve spending time outdoors,” he said with a smile

Then Antony arrived, and seeetting away fro political, for then she would have insisted on co Nor could I pretend it was a pleasure excursion, or she would have barred hly, Antony?” asked Lepidus

”Well, you have got away, no ed it,” I said ”Pray, sit down” The three of the practically at attention in the center of the rooed to look at Caesar; I wanted him to think of the pillows and carpets upstairs

Obviously cautious, they took their places with care on the couches-- wooden-legged ones with extra cushi+ons and pillows to soften their austerity They all stared atLupercalia festival,” I said, taking a seat on a straight-backed chair across fro: Had I invited them, the three most powerful men in Rome, to teach me about folk festivals? Finally Antony said, ”It is an ancient cere its been celebrated It has to do with fertility The priests of the various colleges take strips froh the streets whipping people with theotten to say is that the priests have to run through the streets half-naked, and it's the women-ish to conceive that crave the touch of the strips, which are called februa februa It's a bloody, messy business,” said Lepidus ”Not my favorite holiday” It's a bloody, messy business,” said Lepidus ”Not my favorite holiday”

”If I remember last year, it's wildly popular,” I said ”Everyone turns out to see it And you, Caesar--won't you be on the Rostra observing it? Isn't that your station?”

”Oh yes,” said Antony ”He's required to preside over it, sitting in his golden chair, wearing his Triu at you?” I asked Caesar directly

”I am not the center of the festival, if that is what youon his elbows

”But the priests have to run to hih all the streets of Rome to end up at the Rostra”

”Youto do,” said Lepidus ”You are one of the priests now” are going to do,” said Lepidus ”You are one of the priests now”

”But you are also a Consul,” said Caesar, and I heard that note of disapproval in his voice ”The dignity of a Consul may not permit the hijinks of a priest of the Lupercalia”

”It is you who created this conflict,” I said to Caesar, startling him, ”when you appointed hilared at me I had never chided him in public, and it was clear he did not like it ”What is the point of all this?” he said coldly

I realized then how odd it must seem to them to be su their business or else doing ives were known to do in joke and song: boss, nag, forbid As a foreign queen I was the only woman as their equal and had the power to summon them, question them, and advise theht that a pity; there should be others

”Just this,” I said, rising to ly intentions--or lack of thee audience What better tie, elevated, where everyone can see you So seize the initiative and shout your e?” asked Caesar He swung his feet around and sat up, leaning on his knuckles

”That is for you to decide,” I said ”But I would assume you would wish to reassure the people that you are not trying to becoed slurs--people shouting titles at you, anony Republican slogans on Brutus's praetor chair?”

He sighed ” ”Oh, I've had enough of it, all right,” he said

”Then end it! One of you--Antony, or Lepidus--should offer hiht on the Rostra at the Lupercal, with all Ro on You should do it as ostentatiously and ceremoniously as possible, and you, Caesar, should resolutely refuse it, just as ostentatiously and ceremoniously Then you should have it recorded in the Temple of Jupiter on the Capitoline Hill that you have refused it”

They sat silent for a moment, but I could see Caesar's only quarrel with it was that he had not thought of it first