Part 32 (1/2)
”He can be charht he did not wish to be,” I said ”And what do you o Servilia was in love with me,” he said ”And I was very fond of her”
”So that's why Brutus disapproves of you”
”No, it's h-minded he would never allow such a base reason to color his behavior I think it's that--that he cannot forgivePompey's forces And he joined Po to do with the Republic, because he personally hated Po his father”
”What a mixed-up, complex man!” I said ”I would never wish such a son on you Pray to all the Gods that Caesarion is nothing like Brutus”
”I do pray, dear Cleopatra, that our son is nothing like anyone who has yet lived,” he said ”I would not have hi him, that he was your very self,” I said ”What did you mean?”
”I a him for the first ti, unawares, while I watched over hie to fate”
”We are all that”
”It is easier to bear for ourselves alone than for others”
Chapter 25
I would have answered, but a terrific blast of thunder made it impossible to talk The house shook We stood and watched the trees bending outside, their heavy lie of water striking the ground like an ar told that our cliifts, but I had never appreciated what that meant until I saw the fury of this Roman thunderstorainst him silently I had not realized hoeary I was until then; the dinner had been a strain Noere alone, but not really alone: Calpurnia was upstairs, doubtless straining her ears to hear us In her place, I would have done so
At length the rain tapered off, dying in fits and spurts Parts of the garden were flooded, and the heavy sh the doors The thunder rued clouds tore across the sky An almost full moon burst out froht over the scattered leaves, soaked benches, and muddy puddles
”Take a cloak,” he said, ”and pull it up over your hair I wish to show you so with ed theuided me outside, to the shadow of the Teth of the Forum It lay in stark black and white, its shadows sharp and deep
It was almost deserted The lateness of the hour, and the wildness of the storm, had driven everyone away Now, devoid of the crowds and noise, it took on the dignity and grandeur it had lacked during the busy afternoon The temples and covered porticoes, the statues and coed it earlier
”This is the Via Sacra,” he said, tapping the pavement beneath our feet ”This is where I shall ride my chariot in the Triumphs, on my way up to the Temple of Capitoline Jupiter And there”--he pointed down to an area before a covered asse stands will be set up for the dignitaries and leading citizens You will be seated in the front seats, along with the rest of my family” He seeoing to have silk awnings to protect you all froant--to hell with theesse that will be distributed, and all the ga theant--to hell with theesse that will be distributed, and all the ga the yourself for no reason” His hand, which was holding the lantern, was shaking I feared he was about to suffer an attack of his illness ”Are you all right?” ”Yes, of course” He sounded annoyed ”I haven't been troubled with-- with that that since just before the battle of Thapsus It sought to prevent , but I overcame it” He paused ”I overcame it by willpower” since just before the battle of Thapsus It sought to prevent , but I overcame it” He paused ”I overcame it by willpower”
I did not see how that could be, but I kept quiet
”Thousands of people will be in the processions--the istrates, the senators, captives, and ons of it, old and arms and jewels! And the sacrificial oxen--”
”We have all those things in Egypt,” I said Indeed, it was the Egyptians who had perfected such parades and displays I had long since grown accusto careful to avoid the wide puddles everywhere Theover the buildings The Temple of Castor and Pollux, with its tall white columns, looked like a row of unearthly trees, revealed and then eclipsed again by the passing shadows
”You sound jaded,” he said ”But this will i tinition for my achievement in Gaul”
”I pray it is all you hope for,” I said
We passed three lanced at us; none of the but fellow citizens They were speaking about the stor stall: it was the same conversation one could have heard in any city in any country
”Coht We passed near the Curia and by a stout building that was built into the Capitoline Hill I had not noticed it before--although I would never tell Caesar I had come here earlier to see the Foru to it
”The Tullianum Prison,” he said ”The place where state prisoners are kept”
”Is--is my sister there?” I could not picture proud Arsinoe in a prison
”Yes, along with all the others to be displayed in the Triuetorix, and little Juba, son of the Nu, and Ganymedes, Arsinoe's accomplice”
”What happens to them--afterwards?”
”They are executed,” he said ”In the little chamber beneath the prison cell”
”Always?”
”Of course They led arainst Rome Now they must pay the price But they are killed privately It is not part of the spectacle” He paused ”It is not sad What's sad is their lack of self-respect If they'd had any, they would have committed suicide rather than end up like this!”
”Surely the child is innocent of his father's deeds,” I said
”Oh, Juba will not be killed He will be brought up in a Roman family” ”Arsinoe is a woman Do you execute women, too?”
”Did she lead an arht like a man, she must die like one”
I had seen my other sister executed by my father's command; I should accept it Arsinoe had tried to kill both me and Caesar In my place she would have had ht Still, defeat and exile were a great punishment in themselves
”You do not sound very merciful,” I said, ”and yet you are known for your clemency”
”That depends on who I an enemies Your own countrymen--well, that's a personal matter Ipreviously fought against me, he should be welcomed I burned the papers of Pompey that I found in his tent; I did'not wish to knoho had corresponded with hinanimous of you,” I said ”But is it not rather foolhardy?”
We were traversing a small street that was completely dark, and I had to take Caesar's hand, since I did not know the way
”Perhaps,” he said ”But I believe that any other way leads to tyranny, and provokes such hatred that you cannot survive”
”But if you pardon your opponents--like Brutus--it seems tothe any atte”
”They should be grateful to me!”
”Not unless they like you” It seemed so obvious to me If someone we hate does us a favor, we spurn both the person and the favor