Part 20 (1/2)
”A name to blazen forth both sides of his inheritance,” I said ”Ptolemy Caesar”
Olympos looked startled ”Do you dare to bestow the familial name of Caesar without permission of that family?”
”I do not need permission fro member of that family is the child's father It is between hiree to this?” Iras asked quietly
”He told me it was entirely up to me what I named him”
”But he probably did not assume you would appropriate his own name,” said Olympos ”He probably only meant he didn't care if it was Ptolehter, but it was so painful I stopped abruptly ”Troilus!”
”A fine nareat story of Troy,” said Oly heroic nahed But then Olyht to use the name Caesar There are ypt! Sink Rome and her laws! Gaius Julius Caesar is the father of this child, and it shall bear his name!” I shouted
”Calm yourself,” said Iras ”Calm yourself Of course it shall bear his name He would not hear of it otherwise”
”You will force hinize the child, then,” said Olympos ”You will put him to the test with this name” His voice was full of admiration
He did not understand What he said was true enough But I wanted my son to bear the name of his father It was as simple as that
”He will not fail me,” I said quietly ”He will not fail him” I kissed the top of the baby's head But Olympos had put fear in my heart I knew that in Roe his child Would Caesar do that? acknowledge his child Would Caesar do that?
The next few days were days beyond happiness That siin to convey the joy, the ecstasy, that filledof a falcon, and it was not just being delivered of the weight and bulk of the baby, but the exhilaration of being still mysteriously united to him The baby was entirely himself, but he was always and forever part of me, as well As I held hi conviction that I would never be alone again
I knew, intellectually, that that was not true We were not one person, and there is no way another person can keep you from that ultimate aloneness that we all fear Yet it felt felt that way to me; I felt complete at last that way to me; I felt co hi, and I should find a wet nurse I promised to do so in a little while, but for the first feeeks, while I watched and wondered where Caesar was and what he was doing, I needed to hold my son close to me every few hours
Every day little Caesar--for the people of Alexandria nicknaal niceties and going straight to the heart of thefiery red, the wrinkles srew rounded and lost that odd, slitted, stretched look of a newborn Now the ga for likenesses could start in earnest
My features are strong ones My nose is long and my lips are very full, as full as any of the Hps carved on stone statues of the Pharaohs (Note that I said the Pharaohs, and not their wives, who had dainty faces) My face is long and thin, and the full mouth helps to offset it, but by itself it is, truthfully --too large Caesar's features are the opposite; they are all very fine, for a ly, it was the fine features that triumphed over the more proave reat happiness
I decided there must be some way I could celebrate this birth, some way despite Caesar's absence to salute it in an official way No parades or public festivals; they were too ephe I would issue a coin co it
”No!” said Mardian, when he heard of it More andmy foremost councillor, in spite of his youth I trusted hiiven hi of Alexandria had been superlative
”Why not?” I was reclining on a couch in ht came in on all four sides, and the breezes met and played within the chamber Silken curtains billowed like a shi+p's sails, and scented rushes from Lake Gennesareth rustled in their vases Caesarion lay on a black panther skin in themovement of the curtains I had recovered entirely froy ”Why not?” I asked again
”Would it not seem to be--well, conceited?” he said ”And it would raise more questions For example, what about your husband, little Ptolemy? Would he be on the coin?”
Little Ptolemy was like another child of mine He had accepted Caesarion as his little brother He never er sailboat to sail in the inner harbor I alot about his existence
”Of course not,” I said
”No Ptoleht, alone,” Mardian res, and I took his word for it ”Even your exalted ancestor Cleopatra the Second would never have dared”
I popped a large, chilled grape into ainstjuice squirted out ”Then perhaps I should put Caesar on it as well?” I asked innocently
Mardian just shook his head indulgently He understood my humor ”Oh yes, try that That should shake them up in Rome” He paused Unlike Olympos, he knew better than to oppose e are you considering?”
”Cyprus I shall mint a coin in Cyprus”
”Oh, you do teift of Cyprus was controversial He just gave away Ro to do Of course he covered it up by saying he was forced to conciliate the Alexandrians, since he was heer holds After all, he won the Alexandrian War He should have quietly taken Cyprus back There has been a lot of gru about it in Ro ability to collect gossip fro places It was as if he had an outpost in Rome How did he do it?
”It is the international brotherhood of eunuchs,” he once said, and I half believed hi else could account for it
”What else are they saying at Roypt, dillydallied when he should have been going aboutthe last of Poed himself with the effeminate pleasures of the Nile, and so on It's done wonders for your reputation and created quite a sensation: a woed his plans for! His veteransto the effect that 'Old Caesar ed in the hter of the Nile, and swelled her banks' I don't, er, rereed I felt roarm I've often been thankful that my face does not blush with embarrassment, but only my ears And they were invisible beneath my hair today ”Now, about the coin I think it should be bronze And it will showCaesarion”
”Like Isis,” he said flatly He understood the significance
”Yes,” I said ”Like Isis and Horus And Venus and Cupid Cyprus was, after all, the birthplace of Venus”
”And Venus is Caesar's ancestress”
”Yes”
”How a si in ad for the coin One of our Alexandrian artists had come to make the likeness, and I was seated on a backless chair, holding Caesarion He kept grabbing atthe hands They were fat, soft little things, as sive you immense sensual pleasure just to touch; a miracle that soon fades--like tender new leaves, like the s that cannot last, but change into sooes inexorably on Caesarion's hands were still precious
The artist wasa model in clay, and I would have to approve it I wished I had h I no thateffect, they looked best when viewed from the front A profile showed only the size of my nose and lips, not the harmony of the whole Nonetheless, coin portraits traditionally showed a profile Oh, for the profile of Alexander!
”Head higher,” mural neck,” said the artist ”It has a lovely curve”
A pity that necks are not dwelt upon in poetry, I thought No one ever mentions necks
”Your hair should shoell on the coin,” he said ”Shall I portray the curls?”
”Certainly,” I said They always portrayed Alexander's tousled curls My own hair was thick and wavy, not unlike Alexander's But e to black hair was that you could rinse it with herbs and oils and
”The eyes Shall I have you looking straight ahead?”