Part 11 (1/2)
It was then, Isis, that I knew I trusted you It is only when our fate hangs in the balance, when our very life depends on so, that we see whether or not we trust that the rope to which we are clinging will support us If we do not, then ill not let go of the ledge and swing on it with our full weight
I trusted you, and you ood that trust, Isis All hail to thee!
It was a si, brave man to ferry me to Alexandria He was already at hand--Apollodoros, a s and tents But as to what I ht be called on to do once I was there--ah, that was a different thing It called for an expertise I was entirely lacking
Caesar had only one weakness, indeed, only one aspect that seemed human in the midst of all his superhuap in us through which we can approach one another as equals Caesar was partial to love affairs--or, to be more painfully honest, to sex affairs
The Gods can also be cruel, for this was the one area where I could not hope to interest him Had it been horseallop with his hands behind his back--I could have won his ades, I could have stunned hiht--whereas he had only two, Greek and Latin, at his command Had it been riches, my personal fortune and the palace treasures would have left him speechless Had it been ancestry, I came from the oldest royal house in the world, whereas he was of ancient patrician, but still citizen, lineage
But love! sex! He had been with es and types, and had acquired an expertise that in, and knew nothing of the refine, beyond what I had read in poetry My closest friend was a eunuch! I felt helpless at the thought of facing Caesar
And then the question: Would I even be willing to give myself to him? No one had ever touched er to do so?
I reypt I pictured the Nile flowing in its flat green ribbon past the pal toward the sun The bright, shi+fting sands under the aching blue sky The dark, seated statues of ancient Pharaohs Waiting Yes For Egypt I could do anything Even give myself to Caesar
I shook my head Then that was decided Now I must prepare myself Prepare myself as I always did for any venture I almost said ”prepare my body,” but I knew, instinctively, that in this case it was the ht, and it had been three days since the appearance of Caesar's er There was no time to waste I sent for Olympos
When he arrived, I invited him to sit on the cushi+ons and share a supper with me Thanks to Apollodoros, the royal tent was furnished beyond the usual Spartan ca table, and brazier I had htly woven wool carpets, and curtains shot through with silver threads, which divided the areas of living and privacy Overhead was suspended a fringed movable canopy that served both to cool us and to shoo away insects
We lounged on the cushi+ons We were served on brass platters fros and sweet dates, followed by the puffy round bread of Ashkelon We sipped wine, and I waited until Oly of the matter at hand I knew that er has been appeased
”Excellent figs,” said Oly it
”I res,” I said
He cocked one eyebrow ”Then you must have a favor to ask me!”
”It is i one of my foolproof flatteries In s no one will ad susceptible to flattery ”Well, the truth is I need your medical advice You are my personal physician, are you not?”
”Yes, and honored to be so” He waited
”If I became Caesar's lover,” I said calmly, ”ould thathe was so contentedly chewing I was startled; Olympos was usually impossible to shock or even ruffle ”It would--it would mean you would bear him a bastard!”
”But why? His other mistresses did not Servilia and Mucia and Postumia and Loilia And his current wife, Calpurnia, has no children In fact, none of his wives had children but his first Perhaps he's incapable of fathering them”
”Or has been careful not to, since all those woo to the bed of that old libertine? The thought is repulsive!” He looked as if he were uardian uncle, and ready to punish me
”Why? If he were that repulsive, he would find himself alone in his bed, whidh, from what I hear, does not happen!”
”Power makes even the unattractive attractive” He looked most severe
”Women went to his bed before he had power,” I insisted
”He's old!”
”He's fifty-two”
”That's old!”
”He can swi men can do that Can you?”
”No,” he admitted reluctantly ”So you're determined to do this?”
”I am prepared to do it if necessary There is a difference”
He sat pouting, almost as if he were a jealous lover
”I need your advice I have no desire to conceive a bastard I have heard there are herbs one can takemedicines”
”Yes,” he muttered ”From Cyrene, there's the silphion plant to h it isn't as effective, the pennyroyal, which grows everywhere I suppose you want et you soetelse We have an army here, and wherever there are armies, there are prostitutes I wish to speak to the most accomplished of the prostitutes, the queen of the prostitutes, as it were”
”One queen to another?” He could barely get the words out
”Yes There are things I need to know”
”Well, then,” he finally said, ”I think I know exactly the one you seek”
”Why, Olyht her already and can give her a personal recolared at ht”
”Caesar will be eternally grateful,” I said, lightly
Oly no sense of hu lohen there was a stirring at the door of the tent I had given up expecting any visitor, and had put onCaesar's Coht into his mind But it ritten in a very impersonal style, and Caesar even called himself by name, as if he were a bystander Was he really this self-contained? It boded ill for my venture
Iras poked her head around the curtain ”Your Majesty, a woman is here for you She says her name is Jehosheba”