Part 6 (1/2)
After three days in my tiny apartment-the false, mundane world shut out beyondto reckless acceptance The ave way to exhaustion until, in my depleted state, it became very simple: I could never return to ht never be norain, but I could not keep to these sequestered shadows forever I was tired of playing the specter inbehind the flimsy lock of my apartment door
Lucian had the power to kill me-he had proven thatI could do about it
But I didn't think that's what he wanted
For whatever reason, he desperately wanted to tell h I had no intention of doing either, I had the power to give him both
Like a fever, my fear broke
The next , I lowered my chin into the collar of my coat I did not look into anyone's eyes on the street, nor did I el joint near the T T station Even so, I half expected sonal me in the front lobby of my office To turn toward me on the elevator as the doors closed station Even so, I half expected sonal me in the front lobby of my office To turn toward me on the elevator as the doors closed
Nothing like that happened
When I passed Sheila's desk, she asked hoas feeling She had circles under her eyes but ed to look attractive She had always been like that-al at ht back the old envy I had felt toward Dan when he first started seeing her Even when herMadonna at the funeral Today, however, that trait struck me like a line repeated one tooabout the sto better I didn't want to talk to her
”Oh, Clay,” she called afterfor you in your office She came early”
I hesitated I hadn't opened my calendar in two days and therefore had no idea as in there
No, I had one idea
I veered off into the bathrooain the hopping skid of tires against pavement, the thud of the collision The back ofin ers and on my cheeks
SoThe last time-the only time-I walked away fro deeply, I walked h my conundrum to the conclusion that had freed me from my apart he wanted very much
I reshouldered , which was stuffed full of the same untouched proposals I had taken home with me last Friday, and walked resolutely to my office The door was ajar, and a vibrant female voice seemed to fill up all the space behind it I knew that voice, and it was no demon Well, not technically
”Clay!” Katrina turned fro her phone shut Her coat was thrown over the chair in front ofout like the vacant sht?”
I unloadedas she told me about her train ride in, her new apart new proposals, her growing stable of up-and-co writers I docked my laptop but didn't turn it on
”I'll take a look at whatever you have,” I said Despite the fact that she tired ave me shoddy stuff, and I needed some fast acquisitions
She hesitated, and I realized she eighing the stacks of proposals, queries, and boxed manuscripts on my credenza and bookshelf I was either rown in popularity
”They haven't hired a new editorial assistant, have they” She sat down on the Burberry-covered chair with crossed ar out at ner as the rest of her Her nostrils tended to look like slits-until she got excited about so Clay, really?”
I sat down, sighed, and gestured at the paper skyline ”I've been sick I'ht now to fill out our next season I'll never get through all of this in tiet back-”
”You knoill” She paused and then, on see covered with Coach's trade a lot with -”but here are a couple thata lot with -”but here are a couple that er”
”I'll read them this afternoon” I ether this week or next to take to co a meal from a questionable Samaritan
She pulled another few pages froe little orphan Highly experi a home for it”
She handed th for a proposal-ht I added it to the top of the pile And then ht the title: Demon: A Memoir Demon: A Memoir
My eyes slid down to the next line: A novel by L Legion A novel by L Legion
”It's dark, edgy-it'll get in your head Don't read it unless you want to seriously question what you think is real”
My heart accelerated, loud in my ears ”I'll look at it as soon as I can-just back froe past the cover My blood iced over at the first words printed there:
Don't stop reading I need you to know
”Well, let athered up her coat
”Who-who did you say this author was?” I blinked up at her
She gave me a blank look ”Someone my assistant discovered in the slush pile I think it has potential”
I don't knohat I said after that I saw her to the door, the manuscript clutched in a sweaty hand When she stopped to talk with Sheila, the voices of both wo a personal tenor, I shut es to my desk
Don't stop reading I need you to know This story is about you, after all
I sat down hard in my chair
I knohat you think, and it's not true Hearto you You're very important to me
My fortitude, so carefully bolstered by ht, ht it, I knew that wasn't really what I wanted I thought, ht it, I knew that wasn't really what I wanted
I'll tell you that thing you want to know, answer the question haunting you You just have to hear h-first Let me tell my story All of itI am not a mindless monster I do what I do for a reason Question what you think you know aboutYou don't co us Don't let your natural instincts keep you at bay You cannot trust theet what you want in the endFor now I offer you a rare gift Take it