Part 3 (1/2)
I looked at estured at it-”I want to watch you enjoy it”
”As though you haven't seen people doing this for centuries”
”Millennia But I'll never tire of it I like to wonder what itso short-lived”
I took a sip ”Let ”
”Of course” He reseated hinanimous tilt of his head
”It's obvious you haven't liked telling round So why do it?”
I had a strange sense then-the same one I used to have as a boy when I ran up the baseht: Were his compatriots here? Did they know, and would they approve of his co to me like this? Were his compatriots here? Did they know, and would they approve of his co to me like this?
”Are you with him now?” I added, on iave me a queer look ”Are you serious? Oh, you are No, of course not Like you-and like him-I can be in only one place at a tilanced at his watch, seee of anxiety streaked toward my heart But the demon, normally so well tuned to hts Finally, he crossed his arms ”When people talk about this story, they make it so idiotic: 'Lucifer was proud, he wanted to be like God When he rebelled, a third of the angels followed him' I've heard all the stories-yes, even in your churches But you have to understand: We were all all proud And Lucifer-he was the governor of the ht it see fealty, ould give it proud And Lucifer-he was the governor of the ht it see fealty, ould give it
”For a moment-whatever that can be without the boundaries of tihts then as clearly as if he had exercised his voice, raised up his fist, and shouted And why shouldn't you praise me? Why not bon? Ath a thousand tireater, with power beyond o up to heaven I will raise my throne beyond the stars of El I will sit upon the sacred lory I will h!” And why shouldn't you praise me? Why not bon? Ath a thousand tireater, with power beyond o up to heaven I will raise my throne beyond the stars of El I will sit upon the sacred lory I will ain, and I knew that a part of him was back in that place, in Eden then then There was a curl to his lips, but the senial There was a curl to his lips, but the senial
”A moment, an eternity earlier, I would have known known it for blasphe ambition, independent of Heaven I would have known! But in that instant his logic was perfect How could anything less come from such a creature? In the shadow of Elohilareat; I wanted hi ambition, independent of Heaven I would have known! But in that instant his logic was perfect How could anything less come from such a creature? In the shadow of Elohilareat; I wanted him to be be God” God”
Lucian picked up the tea ball and stabbed it into his cup, sloshi+ng water into the saucer
”Did he know it?”
”How could he not? The assuestive and sultry thought-that those of us who followed hireater as well He would be a God, and ould become like him
”The bulk of the Host stood stunned at the discordant thunder of this break Still, I bowed to him, as did ion was set in un its phantoht up We rushed the throne of Lucifer in all its shi+ning estate there in Eden It was the seat of a governrown, and we rose up, ready for our new order And we seized the throne, determined to move it I can remember the feel of it in my hands still Can you understand, Clay? No, of course you can't!”
Before I realized what he ainst htened I couldn't pull away
”The gold of it was hot, burning glory-the glory of Lucifer It branded hter-” on an iron But instead of letting go, I clasped it tighter, reveling in the white-hot burning of ling in my hands turned to pain His palms seemed inhu through my veins like adrenaline The drum of my heart roared in my ears, faster-faster In another minute I was sure I would have a heart attack
Or that I could run a marathon
I heard the de el I was And this this would bewas not pain but would bewas not pain but alche, the fliers on the wall, the bins full of exotic teas faded into roinhurdles, simple shock and the rush of blood to the injury had caused me to nearly black out I felt the same way now, except that I was not nauseous, and my vision had not narrowed to a tunnel In fact, it had expanded, pushi+ng reality to the fringes of s of a stage
Now ca of a thousand wings, as though I had entered an aviary ten ed creatures, the bodies too dense above and around ht Voices deafened alvanized my heart
Lucian's voice came to me: ”Our fervor intoxicated ranted favors-one of our spirit kind risen to the third heaven where he was permitted but never resided And we, the interlopers, would rise up with him and set up his throne there We would coht and proud at his side”
With deular forht as he should have but against all logic seeiant form radiated its own brilliance down onto the horde like ht of Lucifer!
I was elated, high on a rush different froe No designer drug, no hit of pure cocaine could begin to coo I snapped like a retracting cord-back to the table, to asp I sucked air intofrohts in the tea shop see rooravity to the hard chair beneath me, my limbs as stiff as they would have been after days in traction I felt the inexplicable urge to weep; I was too aware of my human shell, the conflated eut
Across froh his cup
”What-as that?” I demanded when I kneouldn't vomit on the table
”Ahis hand
In the frame of my pathetic human shell, I could still feel the elation, see the body eht like spots in e to weep becah I had been slipped a drug without my permission-one that had taken me to a state that my huain except through hiize I needed you to understand, to know, to feel what my kinshi+p with him meant”
That's what it was, that intoxication I shuddered If what he said was true, I had just vicariously experienced communion with the devil I pushed up fros than I expected I shuddered If what he said was true, I had just vicariously experienced communion with the devil I pushed up fros than I expected
Lucian spread his hands ”Oh, come now”
But I picked up my jacket and walked resolutely out the door
Out on the street I wondered if I was being foolish-if, like a lover ending an arguo back What if this was the end? Maybe I would be rid of hiht me no relief In fact, it conjured panic If this was the end, it would close the portal to so answers to questions I had not known to ask Worst of all, I would never knohat this had to do with un to eat atthere was so more, the access to which I had throay? And would I be haunted by his words-the words that cycled through ht until I wrote thereater context, containing answers to questions I had not known to ask Worst of all, I would never knohat this had to do with un to eat atthere was so more, the access to which I had throay? And would I be haunted by his words-the words that cycled through ht until I wrote them down simply to rid myself of them-indefinitely?
I returned to the tea shop, unsure what I irls fro the cups, the pot of water, the discarded tea balls onto a tray
As I left again, his words pursuedvisions of heaven, of the devil, in my ear
5
My hands burned, seared by the throne that threatened to blind s, but still I held on I was strong strong and weightless, as though I had coravity of this one And there was Lucifer, spanning the heavens above s of the others were nearly translucent with it, their bodies white conflagrations so that I thought, We, too, are transforratitude that I should feel kinshi+p with that splendid creature It was a new and marvelous identity that swelled ratitude that I should feel kinshi+p with that splendid creature It was a new and marvelous identity that swelled my immortal chest
I wasn't the only one I clarappling with lory We had bent the knee I could no sooner turn back than I could annul the oath of iance I had undone the contentment of my prior existence ords and acts irrevocable