Volume Ii Part 26 (1/2)
When a gentleman sees that a woman pa.s.senger is having difficulty in raising a window, he need feel no hesitancy in offering to a.s.sist her.
However, the courtesy ends when the window has been raised; he resumes his seat and the incident is closed. It is incorrect for him to attempt a conversation with her or to intrude upon her in any way. The gentleman should also offer his seat to a woman standing in an overcrowded train, or to a man very much older than himself. A man or woman carrying a child should never be permitted to remain standing.
A gentleman never allows a woman to feel inc.u.mbent upon him for monetary a.s.sistance. For instance, if a young and inexperienced woman is traveling alone and seems to be in doubt as to where she will be able to get something to eat, the gentleman may offer to send a porter to take her order. Or if no porter can be found, he may himself get her a sandwich and a gla.s.s of milk. But he must absolutely accept the money expended for these articles, otherwise the young woman will undoubtedly feel embarra.s.sed.
THE WOMAN TRAVELER
Women travel about much more independently to-day than ever before. We find young and elderly women traveling across country for business purposes, for relaxation, and for pleasure. And though conventions are no less strict than they were twenty-five years ago, these women who travel are enjoying a much wider and more untrammeled freedom than their grandmothers ever enjoyed.
Women who have not had much experience in traveling, who are ignorant of the laws of good conduct while _en route_, are p.r.o.ne to expect a great many courtesies and much attention from the train officials and from the gentlemen pa.s.sengers. Very often they make themselves appear rude and ill-bred by their a.s.sumed manner of haughtiness. It is the quiet, dignified manner that commands respect; not the exacting, fault-finding and imperious one that so many women like to affect.
The woman on a train should never sacrifice the comfort of the people around her for her own. It is exceedingly discourteous to insist upon having a window open, when you know that others around you object, even though they are all men. And it is just as discourteous to accept a seat that a gentleman has kindly relinquished, or to accept any other courtesy, without offering polite thanks.
It is bad form to get excited over every little thing that happens. A two-minute delay, a brief unexplained stop, is enough to make some women fret and fume.
The woman who travels alone should maintain a great deal of dignity and reserve. She should not make an acquaintance of any fellow-pa.s.sengers of either s.e.x, and she should not accept courtesies from anyone without cordial thanks. But beyond those few conventional words of thanks, there should be no conversation with a man or woman she does not know. And yet, when the journey is a very long one, lasting perhaps more than a day, what harm can it be for a woman to chat a bit about the scenery or the newest ”best-seller” with the motherly looking woman beside her?
Common-sense is often the better part of etiquette.
THE WOMAN WHO TRAVELS WITH AN ESCORT
When a man serves as escort to a woman who is traveling by train, he incurs all expenses. He buys her ticket at the station, attends to the checking and directing of her luggage, carries her hand-bags and sees that she is comfortably seated. He pays for all magazines and newspapers that she wishes and fees the porter that has helped her. He also buys and pays for all refreshments taken during the trip.
A lady invariably precedes her escort down the aisle of the train. She takes the inside seat and leaves the arranging of the luggage and wraps to the gentleman. He may, if he excuses himself, spend part of the trip in the smoking car, but it is exceedingly rude of him to leave the lady by herself throughout the trip. In fact, it is wise after the first few hours of travel, to leave the lady to her own devices for she may want to nap or to read a book. Even one's dearest friend, or one's favorite brother can become monotonous and tiresome after four or five hours of continuous conversation on a noisy train.
IN THE DINING-CAR
When a man meets a woman on a train, and after a brief conversation, invites her into the dining-car, she may a.s.sume that he wishes to be the host and that he would be offended if she refused to allow him to pay for her meal. However, the woman who travels alone must be extremely circ.u.mspect in her conduct, and she must not incur monetary obligations from men who are almost strangers to her.
For instance, if a man and woman who have met just once before and who are not really friends but slight acquaintances, find that they are traveling to the same place at the same time, they may for mutual pleasure's sake, elect to travel together. This is especially true when the journey is one of four or five hours' duration, when a bit of conversation would enliven the monotony of the trip. In this case, if both decide to go into the dining-room together, the woman must by no means allow the man to pay her bill. He may pay the tip, if he wishes, but he must accept the money that she offers him to pay for her share of the bill. A considerate woman will wait until they are back at their seats before venturing to reimburse her companion. It is better to have the waiter present separate bills. This does away with all awkwardness and embarra.s.sment.
A gentleman who is escorting a lady on a trip should not be expected to pay for her meals on the train, unless there is only one and he feels that it would be a pleasure for him to serve as host on that occasion.
But if the trip lasts several days, the woman should insist that she pay her own expenses. This is especially important if the escort is a friend and not a relative; she should by no means allow him to pay her bills.
CHILDREN ON THE TRAIN
Very often it is necessary for parents to travel with their children.
The mother must see that her youngsters observe the most careful order while they are in the train and that they do not disturb the other pa.s.sengers.
It is not very pleasant for young children to sit quietly for three or four hours, and the wise mother will see that they have something to amuse themselves with. A big picture book for the boy, a doll for the girl or some other equally interesting diversion will keep the child from becoming impatient and restless.
It is very wrong to permit children to race up and down the aisles, to climb over the backs of the seats, to play noisy games or in any other manner disturb the other pa.s.sengers. Nor is it proper for them to eat continually, crumbling cake and dropping fruit stones upon the floor of the train. Correct, well-bred little boys and girls will remain quietly seated in their places, watching the scenery or looking at the pictures in the book; and if they converse at all, it will be in a low tone that does not annoy the man or woman in front who is reading. It is never too early to teach children the golden rule of courtesy and respect.
If a child is addressed by a kindly neighbor, he should answer politely; but he must not leave his place and go over to that neighbor to be flattered and indulged, and perhaps plied with sweets that will do him more harm than good. Courtesies extended children should be gratefully acknowledged both by the child himself and by his mother.
IN THE TAXI CAB