Volume Ii Part 5 (1/2)
Of course, it is not always agreeable to the hostess to call on one of her friends to attend her dinner in the place of someone else; but it is certainly a better plan than to leave the guest out entirely, and have one more lady than gentleman, or _vice versa_. If the note is cordial and frankly sincere, a good friend will not feel any unreasonable resentment, but will, in fact, be pleased to serve.
SIMPLE DINNERS
The simple dinner, perfectly achieved, is as admirable a feat as the elaborate dinner, perfectly achieved. The hostess who has attained the art of giving perfect dinners, though they are small, may well be proud of her attainment.
If the cook knows how to cook; if the maid is well-trained, and correctly attired in white cap and ap.r.o.n and black dress; if the table is laid according to the rules of dinner etiquette; if the welcome is cordial and the company congenial--the simple dinner may rank with the most extravagant and elaborate formal dinner. The cover may contain fewer pieces and the menu may contain fewer courses, the setting may be less fas.h.i.+onable, though not less harmonious, and still the dinner may be extremely tempting and enjoyable.
INVITING CONGENIAL GUESTS
Perhaps it is more important to select the guests wisely at a small informal dinner than it is at a formal one. As there are usually only four or six guests, they will undoubtedly become well acquainted by the time the dinner is over, and in order to have agreeable conversation it is necessary that they be congenial.
In a week or two, one generally forgets just what food was eaten at a certain dinner--but if the guests were all amiable and pleasing, the memory of conversation with them will linger and be constantly a.s.sociated with the hostess and her home. Many a hostess would be happier (and her guests, too) if less time were paid to the planning of a menu, and more time spent in choosing guests who will be happy together.
WHEN THERE ARE NO SERVANTS
There is no reason why lack of servants should prevent one from entertaining friends and extending one's hospitality. The ideal hostess is not the one who tries to outdo her neighbor--who attempts, even though it is beyond her means, to give elaborate dinners that vie favorably with those given by her neighbors. The simplest dinner has possibilities of being a huge success, if it is given in the spirit of true cordiality.
For instance, a dinner which the writer attended recently was given by a young woman who did not have any servants. There were six guests who all had mutual interests and with very little help from the hostess they were not long in finding them.
The table was laid for eight. A silver bowl containing delicate ferns graced the center. The lights were shaded to a soft radiance. The entire dining-room had an atmosphere of quiet and restfulness about it. Each guest found, upon taking his place for dinner, a tall fruit gla.s.s at his cover, containing crushed grapefruit and cherries. When this first course was finished, the hostess placed the gla.s.ses on a serving table and wheeled it into the kitchen. The kitchen adjoined the dining-room, which of course facilitated matters considerably. And yet it was sufficiently separated to exclude all unpleasant signs of cooking.
There was no confusion, no haste, no awkward pauses. Somehow, the guests seemed to forget that maids or butlers were necessary at all. The quiet, calm poise of the hostess dominated the entire party and everyone felt contented and at ease.
There was a complete absence of restraint of any kind; conversation flowed smoothly and naturally, and in the enjoyment of one another's company, the guests were as happy and satisfied as they would probably have been at an elaborate formal dinner.
A table service wagon is most useful for the woman who is her own maid.
It stands at the right of the hostess and may be wheeled in and out as she finds it necessary, though for the informal dinner it should not be essential to move it once it is in place. In the drawer should be found one or two extra napkins and extra silver for each course in case of accident or emergency. The coffee service may be placed on top of the table with the dishes for the several courses arranged on the shelves of the table from top to bottom in the order in which they are to be used.
The table should not be too heavily loaded. It is much more useful when things are ”easy to get at.”
If your home is small and inconvenient, if you become easily fl.u.s.tered, if you don't find intense pleasure in making others happy, then don't invite friends to dinner--and discomfort. But if you are the jolly, calm, happy sort of a hostess, who can attend to duties quickly and yet without confusion, if you have a cozy little home and taste enough to make it attractive--then give dinners by all means,--and your guests will not object to their simplicity.
HOTEL DINNERS
With the servant problem growing more complex every year, more and more hostesses are turning to hotels to provide their special dinners. These cannot rival a successful dinner at home but often they are much easier to arrange and even the most conservative of hostesses may entertain dinner guests at a hotel. Private dining-rooms are a luxury but much more charming than the public room. The latter is, of course, the one used by the large majority of people.
Most hotels provide comfortable lobbies or lounges in which guests may wait for each other. But if the hotel is a big one and crowded it is pleasanter to meet elsewhere and arrive together.
The etiquette of the hotel dining-room is that of the home dining-room.
Nothing should ever be done to draw attention to the group of people who are dining there. Quiet behavior is more than ever valuable.
DRESS FOR DINNER
For an informal dinner a woman may wear a semi-evening dress of the sort suitable for afternoon while her partner wears the regular dinner jacket. For a formal affair formal _decollete_ dress with the hair arranged somewhat more elaborately than usual is required. Jewels may be worn. Gloves are always removed, never at a dinner should they be tucked in at the wrists. Men, of course, wear full evening dress to a formal dinner.