Volume I Part 31 (1/2)
_New York, August 24th._
_Dear Miss Curtis:_
_I hasten to offer you my most profound sympathy for the great grief that has fallen upon you and your house-hold. If there is anything I can do, I hope you will not hesitate to call upon me._
_Cordially yours,_
_Harriet B. Wainwright._
_Philadelphia, May 5th._
_My dear Mrs. Andrews:_
_Knowing as I do from my own experience how deep your grief must be I also know that there is little that anyone can say or do to make your sorrow any the less. Yet I cannot refrain from offering my sincerest sympathy, and along with it the hope that Time, which softens all things, will make even this easier to bear._
_Believe me, most sincerely yours,_
_Lillian M. Roberts._
ACKNOWLEDGING A LETTER OF CONDOLENCE
Mourning or white paper is always used when answering a letter of condolence, except when the engraved cards of acknowledgment are sent.
These are severely plain, and the message is always brief. Often they are sent in the name of the entire family, as:
_Mr. and Mrs. John Hall Hammond gratefully acknowledge your expression of sympathy upon the death of their daughter.
June 6, 1921._
This is certainly the easiest way for the bereaved to express their grat.i.tude, though simple notes of thanks may be sent instead of the more formal card.
ETIQUETTE OF THE FRIENDLY LETTER
It is often a moot question among friends as to who shall write the first letter. Generally speaking, it is the one who has gone away rather than the one who remains behind who writes first, though among good friends there is no more necessity to count letters than there is to count visits. The writer knew a college girl who, when she came home, decided to wait before writing and see how many of her friends cared enough for her to write to her. She was rather gratified by the result but if each girl who came away from the school had arrived at the same decision the situation would have been a very queer one, to say the least of it.
A young lady who has gone away may send a card or write a brief note to a gentleman but if he is the one who has departed she should not write to him until she has received a letter from him.
Some people may feel that a discourse on friendly letters has no place in a book on social intercourse. But we feel that social success is just as largely dependent upon one's simple friends.h.i.+ps as it is upon highly extravagant social activities, and therefore it is necessary to know something about the friendly letter.
The salutation in a friendly letter should always be ”Dear Mary” or ”Dear Miss Jones.” The text of the letter should be written with ease, and instead of a long list of questions (as some letter-writers delight in using), bits of choice news of the day, interesting personal experiences, and the like should be disclosed. As Elizabeth Myers in her book ”The Social Letter,” says: ”The friendly letter is our proxy for a little _tete-a-tete_, telling of the personal news of the day, and should be as extemporaneous as daily speech. Such letters are given free scope and it would be as bootless to dictate rules as it would be to commit a monologue to memory prior to a friendly visit.”
Unless you are very intimate with a friend, and your letter contains ”identifying” news, do not sign yourself merely with your Christian name. There are many Marys, and Johns and Harolds; and a letter signed with the full name is as cordial as one which gives only the baptismal name.
There is an old Latin proverb, ”_Litera scripta manet_,” meaning ”The written letter remains.” A very pretty sentiment is attached to this one short sentence. It means not only that the letter itself remains, but that the thoughts contained in that letter, the kind, unselfish, pretty thoughts of friends.h.i.+p, remain forever in heart and mind of the person for whom it was intended. When you write to your friends, make your letters so beautiful in form and text, that they will be read, re-read, and cherished a long time after as a fond memory. It will be a big step on the road to social perfection. Another point to be kept in mind is that nothing should be written in a letter that one would not be willing for almost anyone to see. Letters sometimes travel far, and one can never be altogether sure into what hands they may fall.
THE CHILD'S LETTER