Volume I Part 19 (1/2)
WHEN GENTLEMEN RECEIVE CALLERS
A lady does not call upon a gentleman unless it is for the purpose of business. Under such conditions, the gentleman rises, finds her a seat and proceeds immediately with the matter of business. No social or domestic topics are introduced. If the interview is to be a short one, or if the man is pressed for time, he may go out to meet the lady in the corridor or outer office and stand while he hears her business.
When a lady is admitted to his private office, a gentleman does not receive her with his hat on, or with his coat off. He refrains from smoking, and gives her his whole attention during the interview. If the telephone rings, he must excuse himself before answering it. He rises when the lady is ready to leave, opens the door for her, and accompanies her to the door or elevator if he wishes to be extremely polite. However, this latter courtesy is necessary only when the visitor is a relative or special friend. A gentleman merely bows when a lady takes her departure, unless she herself offers her hand.
It is quite permissible when certain pressing affairs claim one's attention to request to be excused or postpone the business call until some later date. Or if he wishes her to be brief, the gentleman may courteously request the lady to do so, and he will invariably find that she will be only too willing to comply with his request. But there can be no excuse for the man who insists upon being curt to women who call at his office on matters of business, any more than there is an excuse for lack of gallantry and courtesy in the drawing-room.
A gentleman receives his masculine callers at his home as cordially and with as much hospitality as the lady receives her feminine friends. He must observe all the rules outlined for the hostess. He greets each caller formally, makes all necessary introductions, sees that conversation runs smoothly and pleasantly, and if he wishes, offers refreshments. When he has a mother or sister to help him entertain, he may invite women guests, and then it is his duty to accompany each lady as far as the door and see that her car is in readiness. When the last guest to depart is a gentleman, the host usually goes with him as far as the hall door, and a.s.sists him with his coat.
MAKING A CHANCE CALL
Very often a call is returned on some other day than that set apart by the hostess for the day at home. It is not always convenient for friends and acquaintances to observe a certain day at home, but when they call on other days they always are faced with uncertainty. Of course there are some women who do not have a definite day at home, but they may be found at home almost any afternoon.
A woman calling on a friend or acquaintance on no definite day makes some such inquiry as follows of the servant at the door: ”Is Mrs. Gray at home?” or, ”Are the ladies in this afternoon?” Having received a reply in the negative, the caller leaves her card and departs. There must be no questions as to where the ladies may be, or what time they shall return, unless one is a particularly intimate friend of the entire family.
When the servant announces at the door that her mistress is not at home, it may mean either that she is out of the house entirely or that she is so completely occupied with business that she is not able to entertain. In either case, however, the report of the servant must be taken as final, and it may not be questioned.
INFORMAL CALLS
We will call it that--these friendly little visits that neighbors make upon each other in smaller towns, or in less fas.h.i.+onable circles.
Informal calls. But you may call them friendly calls, if you wish.
In small towns, and especially in the country, women may ”drop in” for a chat with their neighbors any time in the afternoon. Even morning calls between ten and one o'clock are permissible. There is nothing formal about these calls. It is not necessary to have a liveried butler at the door to announce the name, nor a small silver tray on which to place the caller's card. Butlers, cards and formalities are all omitted, and the call drops into a delightfully intimate visit.
It would be ridiculous to attempt to set down a definite time limit for these calls. They may be as short as twenty minutes or as long as two hours, depending entirely upon the individuals and the circ.u.mstances.
Refreshments may or may not be served as one pleases. Formal greetings and farewells are dispensed with, and in their place are cordial ”h.e.l.los” and ”good-bys” that are entirely conducive to good friends.h.i.+p.
If you feel that, because you are not fortunate enough to own a pretentious dwelling and to hire impressive butlers and maid-servants to welcome your guests, you should not make calls and have them returned, you are depriving yourself of a pleasure infinitely greater than all elaborate display and ostentation. Simple, informal calls made for the purpose of creating and developing friends.h.i.+ps, and made with a feeling of genuine cordiality and friendliness, are even more gratifying than the stiffly formal social calls.
Do not feel that you are obeying etiquette's decrees when you neglect your friends.h.i.+ps merely because your home and facilities do not warrant extensive social intercourse. True etiquette is universal in its appeal and reaches the country-woman in her little cottage as directly as it reaches the stately dowager in her city mansion.
CHAPTER IV
VISITING CARDS--AND OTHERS
YOUR CARD A REPRESENTATIVE OF YOU
An interesting anecdote we have in mind will ill.u.s.trate better than anything we can say, the importance of the correct card, whether it be in business or social activities.
A rather eccentric gentleman discovered an amazing new commodity for which there had been considerable demand for many years. He became immediately famous. Reporters besieged his home and office in quest of interviews, but the reports in the newspapers were of the vaguest and most indefinite. He shunned publicity, and absolutely refused to see or speak to anyone.
Then a brilliant young chap who knew and understood the eccentricities of the inventor, conceived the idea of having a special card engraved to send in to him. The others laughed at his ”foolish idea” as they called it, but he had absolute faith in his plan. He had a neat white card engraved with his name and address, much the same form and size as the ordinary social card. But in the lower left-hand corner, in tiny italics, these words were printed: ”Wishes to tell the people the truth about your discovery.”
The card went in to the inventor. The reporter was admitted. And his paper boasted headlines and columns of startling facts the next day that no other paper in town had. The very appearance of the card, its neatness and its obvious originality, commanded the attention of the man who hated publicity, and caused him to submit to an interview.