Part 6 (2/2)

I think of her now on nights when I see the full moon, wonder if she's up, sitting in her kitchen having a hot chocolate, long curls down her back, though the curls are gone now of course.

Everyone is in flying form, excited about the natural phenomenon. Lea is telling me about the date she was on last night as she applies sun cream to my face and arms. My legs are covered up. She went to the cinema with a garda from Antrim. I tut.

'You can't talk at the cinema,' I say. 'Never go to the cinema on a first date.'

'I know, I know, you told me that when he asked me and you're right, but we went for drinks afterwards and believe me I was glad of the two hours not talking, he was such an eejit, Fergus. My ex-girlfriend this, my ex-girlfriend that. Well, tell you what, fella, you can have your ex-girlfriend. I'm off.'

I chuckle.

'I'll get you a cupcake, which one do you want? I've some with jellies, marshmallows, I had Maltesers but Fidelma ate them too,' she says with a grin.

'Surprise me,' I say. While she's gone I look around and see that there's lots of visitors today. Children run around the gra.s.s, one has a kite, though no matter how fast he runs it won't take off from the ground, no wind today. There's not a cloud in the sky, it's a beautiful indigo blue, with wispy white swirls. This triggers something and I try hard to remember but I can't. This happens sometimes. A lot. And it frustrates me.

'Here you go.' She returns with a plate of two cupcakes and a soft drink.

I look at them, feeling a bit confused.

'Don't you want them?' she asks.

'No, no, it's not that,' I say. 'Is my wife coming?'

She stiffens a little, but pulls up a chair and sits down beside me.

'Do you mean Gina?'

'Of course I mean Gina. My wife, Gina. And Sabrina, and the boys.'

'Remember the boys are going off camping with their dad today? Aidan was to bring them to Wicklow with their cousins.'

'Ah.' I don't remember that. Sounds like fun for them. Alfie will no doubt go hunting for worms, he likes that. Reminds me a bit of Bobby when he was little, except instead of eating them like Bobby did, he likes to name them. He once made me keep Whilomena worm in a cup for an entire day. 'But what about Sabrina? Where is she?' I picture that screwed-up worried face, frowning in concentration like she's trying to solve a problem, or remember the answer to something that she's forgotten. Yes, that's what it is. Always as though she has forgotten something. If the boys are all off on their jaunt then she must be alone. Unless she's with Gina, but Gina is very busy these days, with Robert, her new husband. Of course, that's why Lea looked at me in that way, I must stop calling Gina my wife. I sometimes forget these things.

'Sabrina was here this morning, remember? I think she had some stuff to take care of, but she'll be back in to visit tomorrow as usual, I'm sure.'

I feel around my pockets.

'Can I help you, Fergus?'

Lea again, always at the right time.

'My phone, I think I left it in my room.'

'I think it's getting close to the eclipse now. Will I get it for you after? I don't want you to miss it, being on the phone.'

I think of Sabrina and I have an overwhelming feeling for her not to be alone. I see her as a little girl again, her serious pale face lit up by the white light.

'Now, please, if you don't mind.'

I feel like I've blinked and Lea is back. I was lost in a thought but now I can't remember what that thought was. Lea's breathless and I feel bad for nearly making her miss the eclipse. Of course she's excited about a thing like that. She should have gone on a date to watch it, if she could have got the time off, and I'm selfishly glad she didn't. The others would have waited until after the eclipse to get my phone.

I dial Sabrina's number.

'Dad,' she answers immediately, on the first ring. 'I was just thinking about you.'

I smile. 'I picked up on your thoughts. Is everything okay?'

'Yeah, yeah,' she says, distracted. 'Hold on, let me move away for a minute so I can talk.'

'Oh. You're not alone then?'

'No.'

'Good. I was hoping you weren't. I know Aidan and the boys are camping.' I feel foolishly proud of myself for sounding like I remembered such a fact, when I didn't. 'Where are you?'

'I'm sitting on the hood of a car in the middle of a field in Cavan.'

'What on earth?'

She laughs and it's light.

'Are you there with friends?'

'No. But there's plenty of people around watching it. It's one of those official viewing places.'

Silence. There's more to it, and she's not telling me.

'I'm just travelling around a bit, looking for something.'

'You lost something?'

'Yes. In a way.'

'I hope you find it.'

'Yeah.' She sounds distant again. 'So how are you? Are you in a good spot to see the eclipse?'

'I'm great. I'm sitting outside on the lawn with everyone eating cakes and drinking fizzy drinks, watching the sky. I don't think we're in the correct path, whatever it's called, but it's keeping us all busy. I was thinking though while waiting, something today reminded me of an incident when you were two.' It was Lea's smile that triggered the memory, Lea's dimples that would fit miniature marbles, and I thought of the marbles because of the pouch in Sabrina's hand this morning. 'Don't think I ever told you about it.'

'If I did something bad then I'm sure Mum told me.'

'No, no, she never knew about this. I didn't tell her.'

'Oh?'

'She had to go out on an errand one day, a doctor's appointment, or maybe it was a funeral, I can't quite remember, but she left you with me. You were two. You managed to get your hands on some marbles that you found in my office.'

'Really?' she sounds surprised, interested, so eager, surprisingly so as that isn't the high point of the story. 'What kind of marbles were they?'

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