40 Revelation (1/2)
It was dark.
It was cold.
It was suffocating.
”Where am I?” I muttered. Clearly, I was the only one there, lost in a sea of black. My nose itched from the ice cold air. ”Agatha?”
There was no answer.
I moved my feet a few steps forward and the shoes echoed throughout the room. At least I thought it was a room. The ground felt unusually solid as if I walked on a slate of black ice.
”Caesar?!”
His name echoed, growing distant after a few seconds.
”Where am I?!” I repeated.
”Anyone?!”
Silence. There was only silence.
Fear brushed over my heart and I gulped.
I realized I was alone there.
But I was always alone, no matter what. I hated being alone.
”There must be a way out,” I said.
With that in mind, I searched the area with haste. I thought it was just a room but the place was larger than I expected. Too large, in fact. Even if my legs kept walking just at one side, there was no end.
The area kept growing bigger was what I concluded.
There was only pitch black darkness.
Like my heart.
”Eh?”
A chilly, frost feeling wrapped around my chest in conjunction. It heightened up my fear as it was.
My breath was shaky.
”Ava!”
I turned my head around and a face greeted me.
No, it was a mask. A blank, white mask in the shape of a mannequin's face, without any detailed features or quirks about it.
”Who are you?” I asked.
”Why, I am you.” Another mask appeared next to the first replied with the same voice as me.
”Indeed, Ava,” said the first mask, again, imitating my voice.
My small fingers strewed together, sharing its warmth. ”What do you mean?”
”She's confused!” exclaimed the second.
”How sad. She doesn't even know who she is,” said the first with a sad tone.
I frowned at them.
The second mask hovered to my side. ”I mean, she lost her memories, remember? Of course, she doesn't know who she is.”
”Ava, you're changing,” said the first.
”I'm aware of that,” I stated quickly.
”No, no, NO. I'm not talking about that change. You were once a beat-up little girl, at the mercy of your fake parents in order to a.n.a.lyze what your Aegis is capable of. You despised them, yet during the day, you're someone else entirely,” said the second.
”I know that already. Why are you telling me this?” I admitted that the mask irritated me, rubbing salt over my old wound.
The masks looked at each other before turning their attention back towards me.
”Ava, how sad have you become,” said the first.
”I pity you. You'll destroy yourself like this,” said the second.
My eyes glared at them. ”What do you mean?! I don't understand! I wanted to be like this so that I could kill those two with my own hands. I cannot waver. I cannot hesitate when I wanted to kill.”
”You yourself are fake,” blurted the first.
”What?”
The second mask rotated around my head and stopped in front of me. ”You think you're doing this in the name of vengeance. But that was not it, Ava. You are empty inside after all that had happened. A large void that l.u.s.ted for a purpose in life. You never wanted to be alive, Ava,” it continued, ”You acted like you loved that Hope guy as your parent, but it was just you being greedy. You wanted to love someone, and for that someone to love you back.”
My hand swiped the mask away but it hovered near me again. ”T-That's not true,” I said. I was shaking.
It was not true at all. I loved Hope very much. It was not fake.
”You're unsure of what you are, Ava. In order to have a goal in your life, you deceived yourself into thinking that vengeance for the sake of Hope was the right thing to do,” said the first mask, circling around me.
”N-No...”
”It is true, Ava. You're denying it. Deep inside, you know it's true. You're nothing but an imposter. Someone who desperately held on to a belief that she thought was correct. You cried for your own salvation. After your former parents left you, that conclusion was what you came up with,” said the second mask.
”My salvation...” I mumbled nervously.
”But what does it mean to be saved, you ask? Perhaps killing a bunch of people to get to your parents was a small step to that. You pushed on in your life thinking that!” exclaimed the first mask.
”That's why we pity you, Ava. You are FAKE. Admit it. You're just a leftover specimen for your parents' experimentation. Knowing they discarded you, there was nothing for you to live on. You latched yourself onto the feeling of hatred just to a.s.sure yourself that you have something to live for,” said the second.
”I am... Fake?”
I did not know anymore. I denied what they said but somewhere inside me, the words they spat at my face resonated. And I hated it.
”What do you plan to do now, Ava? Continue to be a faker, as you always had?” said the first mask.
”Or you plan to be a genuine person? Like someone who ACTUALLY has a goal in life?” said the second.
”I'm not... Fake. I did it all this for Papa!” I shouted.
”NO!” Both of them shouted simultaneously.
”You're deluding yourself. You never loved him,” said the second mask.
”You just want to satisfy your greed. You are EMPTY, Ava. Don't you get it? You searched for your parents way back in Mansel Island just to comfort yourself. You never loved reading books. You hated reading. You never loved talking to your friends. You despised how they looked at you condescendingly. You never liked potatoes, to begin with. You forced that food inside your mouth, despite how in the back of your mind, you hated it,” said the first mask.
”You love your Aegis. You never disliked it. That power allows you to make anyone beg for mercy. And you loved that,” said the second.
”Fake, FAKE, fake. All of that you had done, it was all FAKE!” shouted both of them.
”NO! I'M NOT!” I yelled.
Their voices that resembled me grated in my head, pounding on it endlessly.
That was a nightmare.
It had to be.
”Please, wake up!” I closed my eyes, hoping the masks disappeared.
After what seemed to be hours upon hours, a blinding light warmed me from above.
”Help... Save me!”