Part 12 (1/2)

”Okay.” Her tone was serene, almost singing, which meant I really should hurry. Her heels clacked down the hall, followed by the office door shutting.

I levered into the lobby phone booth, paid a nickel, and dialed very carefully so as not to wake up an honest citizen cursed with a number similar to Shoe Coldfield's nightclub.

To my growing concern it rang nine times before someone came on halfway through the tenth.

”Coldfield, what is it?” he growled. Since it was his office, not his home, I knew I'd not wakened him, but phones going off at such hours never portend happy news.

”It's Jack. Charles said to say h.e.l.lo.” I hoped in this way to tip him that all was well.

Didn't work. ”d.a.m.n, kid, no one calls this late unless it's an emergency. You okay?” He traded the rough annoyance for rough concern.

A few days ago Escott had informed him about my recent experience; apparently the basic facts had been augmented with a mention of my problems recovering. ”I'm fine.” I tried to sound normal, whatever that was.

”Charles told me you were, and I quote-'a touch wobbly'-and you know how he understates things.”

”Ah, he was just being optimistic.”

”Well, you didn't call just to pa.s.s on a h.e.l.lo. What's up?”

”One of the New York bosses came to town. The one who arranged Hog Bristow's visit. A guy named Whitey Kroun. Know him?”

”With a name like that? You kidding?”

Coldfield, in addition to running his nightclub, some garages, and a few other businesses, also controlled one of the biggest gangs in the Bronze Belt. Unless it was a.s.signed to him as a joke, any man nicknamed Whitey would not readily blend into the crowd.

”I'll take that to mean no. What about a soldier called Mitch.e.l.l? He was in Morelli's gang about the time I first came to town.”

”Nope, sorry. You know the colored and white mobs don't mix except when they can't help it.”

”Yeah, but you generally know who's who.”

”Only the local big boys, not the soldiers.”

”Okay, one more item. A collector here named Hoyle is on the outs with me along with Ruzzo.”

”Those bedbug-crazy brothers?”

”The same. You know Hoyle?”

”By sight. Tough guy, used to box. What happened?”

”He tried to play baseball, with me as the ball. I took his bat away and nearly made him eat it.”

He wanted more details, so I gave them. Coldfield liked a good story. As before with Escott, I left out the ugly epilogue in the Stockyards. Even thinking about it threatened to make me queasy.

”You've had a busy night, kid,” he said. He knew my real age, but couldn't be blamed for forgetting most of the time. Now and then I would shoot him a reminder, like mentioning something from twenty years back when I was in the War, and he'd throw an odd look my way for a few seconds.

”You don't know the half of it,” I said.

”About this Kroun, I can ask around if you want.”

”Nah, not that important. Charles can dig. He thinks it's fun.”

”Kroun's not giving you any trouble is he?”

”Nothing like that, just me being curious. I figure he'll be going back to New York soon.”

”Better hope so. No one likes when the boss drops in to nose around. Just ask my people.”

Coldfield did run a tight s.h.i.+p, but I'd not heard of anyone trying to kill him lately. I thanked him; he told me to get some rest and hung up.

I remained in the booth, wanting a moment of quiet. The vast emptiness of the club was easier to handle in here. I liked having a place where I could put my back to a wall.

It couldn't last. I had to boost out and go upstairs, or Bobbi would come looking, and I'd have to a.s.sure her that my sitting shut into a phone booth without phoning was a perfectly reasonable occupation. Before my buckwheats session with Bristow she might have accepted it as absent-minded eccentricity. No more.

But I did seem to be better. The meeting with Kroun had gone very well. After that inner revelation, seeing those who would kill me as being no more than food, I'd been in control with not one wild, trembling muscle to mar the event. Maybe that's all I'd really needed to restore my confidence. Sure, I was still nervous about some stuff-like now-but there were lots of people didn't like big empty, quiet, dark places.

So perhaps I should get off my duff and see my patient girlfriend. I'd been procrastinating with no good reason other than a vague and ridiculous trepidation that she would see all the stuff I wanted to keep hidden. Bobbi was closer to me and much more perceptive than anyone else I knew. She was the one person I couldn't lie to even when I successfully lied to myself.

Well, maybe she'd take a good look, and if she p.r.o.nounced me miraculously cured of my waking nightmares, I could believe it.

I pushed the booth's folding doors open in time to hear a click, followed by several more, coming from the main room. A familiar sound, but out of place at this hour. Curious and cautious, I went through the curved pa.s.sage.

All the little table lights were on. s.p.a.ced at regular intervals along the three wide horseshoe tiers, they made a grand sight even with the upside-down chairs, and I said as much out loud to Myrna.

”You're really getting good at that, babe,” I added.

I half expected one or any of them to blink in reply, but they remained steady. There was no point asking her to shut them off. She would or wouldn't at her own whim. Besides, I could likely afford the electric bill; business had been pretty decent this month.

”See you upstairs. Maybe.” Actually, I hoped not. Some instinct within told me I was not ready to actually see Myrna. She was disturbing enough just playing with lights.

Billie Holiday's version of ”No Regrets” met me coming up the stairs. Bobbi hummed along to the radio, but stopped as I opened the door. She was busy at my desk, surrounded by empty tills, piles of wrapped cash, rolls of coins, a small stack of checks, the entry books, pencils, and the calculating machine. She'd traded her fancy spangly dancing gown for a dark dress and had a blue sweater around her shoulders. Her blond hair was pinned up out of the way. She punched keys on the machine, pulling the lever like it was a squatty one-armed bandit. When its brief, important, chattering died, she peered at the printed result.

”Hi, stranger,” she said, raising her face my way for a h.e.l.lo. She'd gotten a ride in with Escott while the sun was still up, so this was the first chance for us to really be with each other tonight.

I kissed her on the lips, and instantly knew it was right, the way it was supposed to be, the way it had always been for us; everything was going to be fine now.

Which lasted for a few perfect, wonderful seconds.

Then I overthought it, and what began as a warm greeting went subtly and utterly wrong. The demons in my head tore gleefully at me, whispering doubts, magnifying fears, and pointing out the obvious fact that this recovery business was an impossibility, so I pulled back and smiled and tried to pretend everything was great, and the smile was so forced that my jaw hurt, and I turned away so she couldn't see how much it hurt.

d.a.m.nation.

Whatever had been repaired and rebuilt in me came apart so fast I wondered if it had been a sham to start with or if the sickness inside was simply overwhelming in its strength.

I didn't want that.

Thankfully, Bobbi did not ask me if I was okay. We'd had that conversation several times already and kept b.u.t.ting into the walls of a.s.surances, protests, and denials I put up, which she would knock down with a word or three, then neither of us felt happy. We'd accepted the fact that this would take a while, and it would not be pleasant. It wasn't her fault that she terrified me. I was ashamed of it. On the other hand, if I avoided her or went on that vacation Escott had suggested, I'd go right off the deep end of the dock. She was my lifeline. I had to keep close to her.

”Ready to go home?” I asked. Her hat, gloves, and fur coat were ready on the couch. I sat next to them.