Part 25 (1/2)

'h.e.l.lo?'

'Jesse? It's Mick. I thought you might like a drink.'

The bar of the Golden Hind was weighted down with tinsel and paper lanterns. The jukebox was playing a medley of Christmas songs and the comforting smell of tobacco smoke and beer hit Jesse like a hug. Mickey was at the bar, foot on the bra.s.s footrail, tenner in hand and two frothy pints sitting on the bar towel in front of him.

'All right, mate?' He looked at Jesse with pure love and friends.h.i.+p. 'Want a pasty?'

They ate their pasties and drank their pints, talking about anything but the morning they had just endured.

'Two weeks to Christmas,' said Mickey, wiping the pastry crumbs from his lips with a red paper napkin.

'Not sure I feel very Christma.s.sy,' sighed Jesse.

'Why not come over to us? Loveday and her mum always cook for a blessed army.'

'I think Greer's mum may have something arranged.'

'Oh s.h.i.+t. Poor you.'

Jesse managed a smile. 'Yeah. Not a barrel of laughs over there. Lunch at one on the dot. The queen at three. Presents at six.'

'What? You can't open your presents till six? You're definitely coming over to ours. If ours aren't open by six in the morning, there's something wrong.'

'We let Freddie open his early before we go over there. But he's still got to wait for his grandparents' presents at six like everyone else. And then we all sit in a circle on those bleddy uncomfortable sofas of Elizabeth's and have to go round in turn opening our gifts and bleddy oohing and aahing over them.'

'f.u.c.k that,' said Mickey, finis.h.i.+ng his pint. 'Want another?'

'I should be getting back.'

The thought of Jesse's return to the sadness of Pencil House brought their mood down again.

'I'm really sorry, Jesse,' Mick said, putting his arm round his best friend and squeezing him tight. 'For both of you.'

'It's pretty s.h.i.+t,' said Jesse.

'Yeah,' agreed Mickey. 'It is.'

Walking round the corner to Pencil Cottage, Jesse could see the twinkling of fairy lights through the window into the lounge. Was Greer putting up the Christmas decorations?

Taking his key from the lock and pus.h.i.+ng open the door, he saw her, in her old Snoopy dressing gown, sorting through a large box of baubles. There was an open bottle of champagne on the coffee table by the gas-effect fire and a champagne flute next to it.

'h.e.l.lo, darling,' he said gently. 'This is a nice surprise.'

She was a bit drunk. He could see that.

'h.e.l.lo, Jesse.' She showed him two baubles, one green, one blue. 'Shall we go for a green theme or a blue theme? We had green last year, but blue doesn't seem quite right. What do you think?'

'I dunno. I like the green.'

'But is it Christma.s.sy enough? You see ...' She delved into the box and brought out three more baubles. 'Red, gold and silver. Now that's Christma.s.sy, isn't it?'

'Definitely.'

She put the decorations down and poured herself another gla.s.s of champagne. 'The thing is, we've got to make the house nice for Freddie and Louisa.'

Jesse saw that the champagne bottle was more than half empty. 'For Freddie, you mean?'

'Yes, of course, and Louisa.'

Jesse went to Greer and held her. 'Louisa isn't here.'

She hugged him. 'I know. I'm a bit p.i.s.sed but I'm not mad. Or maybe you'll think I am.' She pulled back from their embrace and picked up her gla.s.s. 'I'm drinking champagne to toast Louisa's short life. I want to celebrate her. I never want people to feel they can't talk about her. I want to talk about her.' Greer's eyes filled with tears and her voice cracked as she continued, 'I was asleep earlier and I had such a dream. She was in bed with me and we talked about Christmas. She wants to see what a Christmas tree looks like, with all the lights and the sparkle, and I'm going to let her see it.' Greer held her gla.s.s towards the ceiling and raised her eyes. 'Louisa, this is for you, for ever and always.' She brought the gla.s.s to her lips and drank. She turned to Jesse. 'Would you like to toast your daughter?'

'OK,' he said guardedly. He'd never seen Greer like this before.

'I'll get you a gla.s.s.' She went to the cabinet where a row of Stuart crystal champagne flutes glistened. Untouched since they'd been imprisoned there as wedding presents six years ago.

She took one and filled it with the last of the champagne. She offered it to Jesse. 'Make a toast to our daughter Louisa.'

Jesse felt the p.r.i.c.kle of tears at the back of his eyes and a constriction at the back of his throat. He held the gla.s.s out as Greer had done. 'Louisa. If you can see us and hear us, you know that we miss you. We will always miss you. And we're sorry.' The tears of both of them were flowing now. 'We're so sorry.'

'I'm going to open another bottle,' said Greer. 'We need to make this a night that we'll always want to remember.'

The champagne loosened them both so that they could talk freely of their grief. Sitting on the sofa with her head on Jesse's chest, Greer asked, 'We shall always remember her, won't we, Jesse? You'll never forget.'

'We'll never forget.' He kissed the top of her head. 'I'm so glad we saw her.'

'I'm going to put her photo up next to Freddie's. Our two children.'

'Our two children.'

'Poor Freddie. Did Mickey say he was all right?'

'Yes, he's fine. He and Hal were planning to watch Toy Story.'

'I love that film.'

'Yeah.'

Greer tilted her head so that she could see Jesse properly. 'Jesse. Do you love me even though I can't ... I can't ... give you any more children?'

'Don't be silly.'