Part 22 (1/2)

She caught sight of her reflection in the long mirror on the landing. There were unpleasant marks on the s.h.i.+rt she'd just changed into and her hair could do with a trip to the hairdresser's, but so what, she told herself. She was a mum and proud to bear the battle scars.

Mickey called up the stairs, 'What you having to drink, Loveday?'

'Big mug of tea.' She laughed at the sight of herself. 'I'll be two minutes.'

When she got downstairs, Greer was giving Freddie his bottle.

'Sorry about that,' said Loveday. 'Now let's have a proper look at you both. I've missed you.'

She bent to kiss Greer's proffered cheek and sat down next to her. 'How are you? I'm so sorry that you had such a bad time.'

Greer looked fabulous, despite having been so ill. Her hair and make-up were understated but effective, her figure trim and her clothes unsullied. 'I'm a lot better. How about you?'

'Oh, as you can see ...' Loveday held her hands out to show off the chaos of the cottage. 'Just the same.'

Greer smiled.

Mickey came in from the kitchen. 'Gla.s.s of wine for you, Greer, and a cup of tea for my darling wife.'

Loveday took her mug gratefully. 'I think this'll be the first hot cup of tea I've managed all day.'

'Would you like a hold of Freddie?' asked Greer, putting his bottle aside and reaching for the gla.s.s Mickey was proffering.

Jesse put a hand to his mouth involuntarily. 'Loveday's got a hot drink in her hand,' he said.

'She can put it down,' smiled Greer reasonably.

Loveday felt caught under the expectant, innocent eyes of Greer and Mickey and the unmistakably hard eyes of Jesse.

'Here you are,' said Greer, handing Freddie over. 'This is your auntie Loveday.' Loveday took Freddie in her arms and looked quickly at Jesse, who was pulling at his upper lip, his eyes on the carpet. 'In actual fact,' Greer continued, 'I want her to be more than your auntie.' She beamed at Loveday. 'I want her to be your G.o.dmummy.'

Loveday didn't know what to say, but it didn't matter because Greer was still talking. 'And, I want you, Mickey, to be G.o.ddaddy.'

Mickey was shocked with happiness at this honour. 'Oh my! Well, that's just wonderful. I accept.' He pumped Jesse's arm and then hugged him for good measure. 'Ain't that marvellous, Loveday?'

Loveday was staring into little Freddie's face and saw a look, a fleeting look, of Hal. No, no it couldn't be. They were not brothers. They weren't. She'd been mistaken. She was feeling clammy and wanted to get Freddie out of her arms. Mickey obliged. 'Come and have a cuddle with your uncle Mickey.' He took Freddie, freeing Loveday to get to her feet. 'Excuse me, I must look at the fish pie.'

'Hang on,' said Mickey, stopping her. 'I want to ask something of you, Greer, and you, Jesse.'

Loveday knew instantly what was coming.

'I haven't had a chance to run this past Loveday yet.' He put his arm round her shoulder. 'But I know she will be wanting the same thing.' He left a small but dramatic pause. 'My wife and I would be honoured if you would both be G.o.dparents to our Hal.'

'It would be our pleasure,' smiled Greer. 'Wouldn't it, Jesse?' She looked over to where he sat, motionless.

Loveday could barely breathe.

Jesse looked at Mickey, still cradling Freddie; he looked at Greer, waiting expectantly. Finally he looked into Loveday's eyes. 'Yes. It would be an honour. I am proud to accept.'

Greer took her gla.s.s in her hand and raised it. 'To our sons, who will grow together like brothers.'

Upstairs, Hal opened his eyes and his lungs and screamed.

Apart from Hal screaming and Freddie sleeping like an angel, Greer drinking wine because she was bottle-feeding and Loveday having to stick to tea because she wasn't, the little supper party was more or less enjoyable.

Jesse dealt with his inner turmoil by drinking too much beer and Mickey matched him out of the sheer joy at their being all together again.

The fish pie was complimented and the pudding of arctic roll and tinned peaches was welcomed as an old favourite. Even Greer had a spoonful.

Loveday told Mickey to get everyone settled in the lounge while she brewed up a pot of coffee and cleared the table. The babies were finally sleeping. Hal in his cot upstairs and Freddie in his car seat on the rug.

Alone in the kitchen, Loveday took a moment to release the tension of the evening. She stood at the sink, clutching the cold enamel and staring out into the dark of the back garden. She could see the reflection of the room behind her in the gla.s.s. Mickey so happy and so unweighted by any of the guilt that burdened her. Greer so pretty and so b.l.o.o.d.y perfect.

Jesse, so ... f.u.c.king annoyingly gorgeous. She knew Mickey was a much better person than Jesse; she knew she was so unbelievably lucky to have him, his unconditional love, and her beautiful Hal. But her mind and her body were saying different things; she just could not help that feeling of pure desire that surged through her whenever she saw Jesse bleddy Behenna.

She saw him bend his head to hear something Greer was saying, then he stood and came towards the kitchen, towards Loveday. She didn't turn round.

'Loveday?'

She turned the taps on and squeezed a healthy stream of was.h.i.+ng-up liquid into the bowl. 'Yeah?'

'Do you have any sweeteners ... for Greer's coffee.'

She turned and pointed to the shelf next to the cooker. 'If I've got any they'll be on there.'

She concentrated on picking up a wine gla.s.s and was.h.i.+ng it carefully in the suds.

'Nope. Can't see any,' he said, stepping back to stand next to her.

'Sorry.' She rinsed the gla.s.s under the cold tap.

Still he stood next to her. 'You OK?' he asked quietly.

'Yeah.' She pulled a face. 'Why wouldn't I be?'

'I looked at Hal tonight and can see only you in him,' Jesse said.

'That's because he's mine,' Loveday said firmly.

'And Mickey's?' Jesse asked.

'And Mickey's.'