Part 20 (2/2)

'No, I'm fine. Just want to know how Greer is.'

'Ah, yes.' The consultant opened a leather folder on his desk and took out a more modest buff folder. Inside were several sheets of paper: Greer's medical notes. Mr Cunningham cleared his throat. 'Greer has had an episode of severe pre-eclampsia which developed into eclampsia. If we hadn't operated on her and delivered Freddie, you might have lost them both.'

The consultation took thirty minutes. Mr Cunningham explained that the condition was little understood, but that it needn't necessarily stop the majority of women from having normal pregnancies in the future. Mr Cunningham paused and arranged his features sombrely. 'Unfortunately, Greer falls into the minority group of women who I wouldn't recommend trying for another baby. It could be dangerous for her and the child. This is only my recommendation and you must do as you think best but, truthfully, I do believe you shouldn't contemplate adding to your family. I'm sorry.'

20.

Greer absorbed the news with a quiet acceptance. Jesse was devastated. But as neither of them was able to talk to each other with anything other than superficial stoicism, they didn't know how each of them truly felt.

When Freddie was almost six weeks old, Jesse made his regular nightly trip to his in-laws' house to see his wife and son.

Freddie was in the arms of his grandmother, drinking greedily from his bottle of formula.

Greer was taking a bath.

In the silence of the beige and cream sitting room, with its sateen sofas and Tiffany lamps, Jesse felt a stranger. Foreign. His presence neither understood nor recognised.

'How is Greer doing?' he asked Elizabeth. He wanted to ask his mother-in-law specifically when Greer could come home, but he felt awkward. He didn't want Elizabeth to accuse him of pus.h.i.+ng Greer before she was ready.

Freddie released the teat from his mouth and Elizabeth expertly lifted him upright and forward so that she could rub his back. Freddie obliged with a deep burp.

'Good boy,' said his grandmother. 'Who's a good boy for Nanny? Want some more? Still hungry?' She stroked the teat against Freddie's lips until he took it in his mouth and closed his eyes, sucking sleepily.

Jesse asked again. 'Is she feeling better?'

Elizabeth didn't look at him as she answered. 'She's still very weak.'

Jesse tried again. 'You've been wonderful. Looking after her and Freddie. I can't wait to have them home.'

'Yes, well, Greer will know when she's well enough.' Freddie was now asleep. His head lolling in the crook of his grandmother's elbow. A small stream of creamy dribble was escaping from his lips. 'Now then, young man. It's the Moses basket for you,' said Elizabeth, putting the bottle on the table at her side and preparing to stand up.

Jesse jumped up from his chair, hoping that he might be able to help. He hadn't had many chances to hold Freddie in the last six weeks. He had not yet been allowed to give him his bottle. 'Can I hold him?'

Elizabeth hesitated before saying, 'I think he needs to sleep. He likes it. It's better that we keep his little routine going.'

Greer came in wearing her old Snoopy dressing gown and with her hair wound into a towelling turban. 'Hi, Jesse. You're earlier than usual.' Her face lit up. 'Mum, you didn't tell me Jesse was here.'

'I didn't want to disturb you when you were having a nice bath.'

Greer went to Jesse and hugged him. 'Have you had a cuddle with Freddie?'

Jesse saw his chance. 'I was just asking your mum.'

'He's asleep,' said Elizabeth, still holding Freddie. 'I'm just about to put him down.'

'Mum! Jesse and Freddie haven't seen each other since yesterday. And Jesse didn't get a cuddle then because you'd put Freddie down. Hand him over.'

'It's important to have a routine,' Elizabeth protested, but couldn't stop Greer taking Freddie.

'I know, Mum, and you've done a wonderful job, but hand him over to his daddy.' Greer turned to her husband, who gave Elizabeth a triumphant smile. 'Now, Jesse, sit down in that armchair and get comfy.' Greer took Freddie from her mother's arms and pa.s.sed him into her husband's.

Elizabeth sniffed huffily as she left the room. 'I'll be in the kitchen if you need me.'

Jesse took him gently.

'h.e.l.lo, Fred. Daddy's going to bring you and Mummy home soon,' he said in a comforting soft voice.

'Let's take him to my room for a proper cuddle.'

In her room and surrounded by the paraphernalia of babyhood such as boxes of Pampers, sterilising kits and bottles, Jesse sat on the bed holding their son while Greer sat at his feet, resting her chin on his knee. 'Did you get the cot built?'

'All done.'

'And the little mobile up?'

'Yes.'

'And the changing table? Is there enough room? It's such a tiny little room.'

'It's perfect. Like an efficient galley. Everything in arm's reach.'

She sighed happily. 'I'm looking forward to coming home.'

'When do you think that'll be?'

'Another couple of weeks.'

'Another two weeks! Freddie's six weeks now.'

'I know. Doesn't time go fast?'

Jesse didn't think so. 'I want you home at the weekend.'

Greer stiffened. 'I don't think I'm ready.'

'I want you back home. In our bed. I miss you.'

'You know what the doctor said.'

'He said no more children. Not no more s.e.x.'

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