Part 14 (1/2)

Greer arrived at Jesse's side. She looked up at him adoringly. He couldn't move.

Greer turned to Loveday and handed her the bouquet. Loveday took it and stood rooted to the spot, staring at Jesse, who looked as if he might faint. Greer was whispering to her, 'My veil. Lift my veil.' Loveday looked at her hands, each holding a bouquet, her own and the bride's. 'Give them to my mother,' Greer hissed.

'Dearly beloved, we are gathered together here, in the sight of G.o.d, and in the face of this congregation, to join together this Man and this Woman in holy Matrimony, which is an honourable state ...'

13.

'I can't believe we've been married for almost three weeks already.' Greer stretched out her left hand and wiggled the fourth finger to allow the two s.h.i.+ny rings, one a diamond solitaire set in gold, the other a matching gold band, to twinkle in the suns.h.i.+ne.

'Are you happy, Jesse?'

Jesse, at that particular moment, was happy. He was lying on a comfortable sun lounger, by a sparkling azure pool with a cold gla.s.s of beer by his side, hundreds of miles away from the mess he'd left behind in Trevay. He was almost starting to believe he'd got away with the biggest mistake of his life. That's not to say that several times a day he didn't break out in a cold sweat thinking of his betrayal. Last night he'd dreamt of making love to Loveday in his parents' bed. Neither he nor Loveday had heard the footsteps coming up the stairs or the turn of the door handle. They hadn't seen the faces of his mother, his father, Mickey and Greer contorted in grief and horror until Mickey had pulled out a fish-gutting knife and had stabbed himself in the heart. His blood had pumped in a perfect arc over Loveday's face and into Jesse's eyes. His mother was screaming. Greer was shouting, 'Jesse, Jesse, stop it, stop it!' She was tapping at his face and shaking his shoulders. 'Jesse, wake up. Wake up! What's the matter?'

He'd opened his eyes, knowing that he would see Loveday's blood-covered face staring at him accusingly, Mickey's body lying across her. But all he saw was the concerned face of Greer gently shaking him. 'Jesse, it's OK. I'm here. It was a dream.'

His eyes slowly took in the hotel bedroom and its whitewashed walls. The early light was twinkling through the shutters and he heard the clatter of a woman in heels walk across the floor of the room above.

His heart was thudding more gently now and his breathing was returning to normal.

'You were shouting Mickey's name.' Greer's face was full of concern.

He hated himself. 'Was I?' Guilt swept through him. 'Did I say anything else?'

'You were mumbling and pus.h.i.+ng your arms out in front of you, and you kept saying, ”Mickey”.'

He sat up and rubbed the sweat from his top lip. 'I must be missing the b.u.g.g.e.r.'

'Can you remember what the dream was about?' asked Greer.

'No. Funny how dreams just vanish like that.' He rubbed a hand over his bleary eyes.

Greer pushed the thin sheet off herself and padded over the marble-tiled floor towards the bathroom.

He heard her pee and wash her hands. When she came back there was just enough light in the room to penetrate her gauzy nightdress. He saw the flatness of her stomach and her small, high b.r.e.a.s.t.s. He hadn't been a virgin when he married Greer. There had been nights out in Newquay with Mickey and other mates where they'd all succ.u.mbed to s.e.xual experiences of varying satisfaction and success.

He had been gentler with Greer on their wedding night than he'd been with Loveday. He knew for sure that this was Greer's first time. He wished he'd known it had been Loveday's. He wished many things. The seething guilt rose in him again.

Greer moved gracefully to her side of the king-size bed and got under the sheet next to him. He was still getting used to the novelty of asking for s.e.x at any time and getting it. He rolled towards her and put his hand on her thigh, pus.h.i.+ng the nightie over her hips and up to her stomach.

'Why do you wear this thing?'

'I always wear a nightie.' He felt the tension or was it reluctance? in her body.

'I like you naked.' He moved himself on top of her and eased his legs between hers.

She kept her eyes closed as he kissed her. As he pushed into her she tensed again but made no noise.

'Does it still hurt?' he asked, slowly pus.h.i.+ng in and out of her.

'A bit.'

'You just need a bit more practice, that's all.'

Afterwards she got out of bed and had a long shower before getting dressed and organising her bag of poolside essentials. He watched her. He was fond of her. She had a good heart and loved him, he knew. She wasn't Loveday but she was his wife.

And now, here they were, lying in the January sun by a sparkling pool in Gran Canaria.

'I still can't believe how Mummy and Daddy managed to keep this whole honeymoon a secret from us,' sighed Greer. 'Hasn't it been dreamy?'

Jesse took a mouthful of the cold Spanish beer and nodded.

He still couldn't think with any clarity about his wedding day. He remembered Loveday's flow of silent tears as she stood behind them at the altar, Mickey's concern for her, and the congregation applauding when the vicar p.r.o.nounced them man and wife.

In the vestry, as they had signed the register, he had tried to catch Loveday's eye, but she had kept as far away from him as she could. Then, once the signing and the photos were done and Greer had taken his arm possessively in order to walk triumphantly down the aisle, showing off her new husband, he had felt something being stuffed into his jacket pocket by Bryn, his new father-in-law. He was saying, 'It's your honeymoon, lad. Treat her well. The flight goes from Bristol in five hours. Four weeks of sun in the Grand Hotel Residencia, Gran Canaria.' Jesse had looked at him stupidly. 'And,' continued Bryn, 'when you get back, no need to worry about moving in with us. I've got a little place all set up for you.' He elbowed his new son-in-law in the ribs. 'After all, you don't want the ”outlaws” breathing down your neck every time you want some privacy, do you?' He winked at Jesse as Jesse allowed himself to be dragged out of the vestry and down the aisle to the triumphant organ and hearty applause.

The reception, held at the golf club, had been noisy and boozy. Mickey's speech, nervously delivered, had gone down well, and Jesse managed the thank yous and the toasts he was obliged to give. 'And, finally,' he said, putting his crib notes down on the tablecloth, 'I'd like to thank my two best friends for sharing this day with me. Best man, Mickey Chandler, and bridesmaid ...' He swallowed pus.h.i.+ng down the terrible but wonderful thoughts of what had happened between them. '... Loveday Carter.' The crowd applauded and a few wolf-whistled as Loveday left her seat and took a mock bow. Smiling and waving, she smoothed down the hideous dress and walked sedately to the ladies to cry in the peace of a cubicle.

Jesse watched her go. With a cowardice that shocked him, he stayed put and continued, 'And, finally, my greatest thanks go to ... Greer, who I've known since we were both five and who is now ... my wife.' He raised his gla.s.s. 'Ladies and gentlemen. The bride.'

A few minutes later, Jesse had made his way to the lavatories. Instead of going into the Gents, he dived into the Ladies, praying no one would catch him. Instead of a row of urinals he was met with a dully lit lobby, a full-length mirror and a dressing table with stool. On the dressing table was a tissue box festooned in lilac lace and a clothes brush. He couldn't face looking at his reflection as he found the second door leading to the inner sanctuary of the women's stalls. Five in a row and only one door closed.

'Loveday, I know you're in there. Let me in.'

Loveday, sitting on the closed seat, was crying as quietly as she could. She stopped and sat still.

'Loveday. I want to talk to you.'

'Go away.'

He heard the outer door the one that led to the small lobby opening, and two women talking. 'She looks lovely, don't she?' remarked one.

'Aye, she does that, but her mother was always a looker and 'er dad weren't so bad when 'e was a young 'un.' As they pushed the inner door, Jesse dived into the empty cubicle next to Loveday's.

To make things sound authentic he thought he might as well have a pee while he was there. Giving himself a shake as he finished, he listened as the two strangers peed like camels, keeping up a stream of gossip about their opinions on the various outfits on display. Finally he heard their flushes and the two women washed their hands, still talking, before the hand driers drowned them out and they finally left.

He felt a hand tickling the top of his head. It was Loveday, standing on the loo seat next door. He looked up at her and a smile flooded her face. He opened his mouth to say something but she put a finger to her lips.

'Loveday,' said Jesse. 'I love you.'