Part 25 (1/2)

”I'll get back to you on that.”

How can he stand not seeing me? We're so close. ”I'll come to your place. I've got a car-”

”Not a good idea.”

”You can come here then.” If I work all night I can have my room clean. Him in my room? Thinking that makes me crazy. ”I'm going to be a wreck until I see you again.”

”I'll try to borrow some wheels.”

”Call me.”

He misses his beat.

”Derek?”

”Are you sure, Beth?” He coughs. His voice takes on the twist of torture it held when he broke down on our bench back in Switzerland. ”I can't guarantee getting tangled up with me won't be rough on your heart.”

Why, Derek? How will you hurt me? When will you tell me everything? I cover my questions with a shaky laugh. ”You do want to dump me. c.r.a.p.”

”Just think about it. That other guy-”

Doesn't he remember those words he sang to me in Lausanne? That promise?

The way you kiss, the way you sing,

The way you tell me everything.

Will you take my heart?

I'm offering it to you. . . .

I do. I sing my reply, It's gotta be, it's gotta be about you.

chapter 18.

PILLOW TALK.

I spend the rest of the day trying to get my cell to ring. I call back twice. Leave a message once. Send two texts.

I even call Sarah. ”Hey. They're back. Have you heard from Blake?”

”Blake's a jerk. Why would I want to hear from him?”

”Do you have his cell?”

She gives it to me. Memorized. Jerk, huh?

I enter it in my cell's phone book, dial, but hang up before it rings. Calling Blake is over-the-top desperate. I write Derek an email just in case his cell phone got flushed down the toilet or something tragic like that. I finally put on the Amabile guys' new CD, fall asleep listening to Derek sing, clutching my cell phone to my heart.

It goes off at 2:00 a.m. I startle awake-not sure what's going on. I sit up confused. The phone is jumping around in my sheets.

Derek. Yes. Derek.

”Hey.”

”You awake?”

”Sure.”

”I fell asleep on the drive from Toronto. I don't even remember walking into the house.”

What happened to, Can't sleep, can't dream without you?

”Sorry I didn't call back.” His voice sounds thick and scratchy. Exhausted.

At least he's sorry. ”That cold of yours is back. You should get some more rest.”

”I'm wide awake now. Don't you want to talk?”

I'm wide awake, too. ”How about we do more than talk? I'll get in my car, and you guide me to your place. Just don't hang up.” I get out of bed and search through the pile of clothes on my floor with my foot. Designer jeans, where are you? I get silly and start singing him the chorus of our duet.

And now-our love is so true,

I won't take a step without you.

Thank G.o.d, you came. If you love me, please don't ever let me go.

He doesn't come in on his cue. ”It's almost an hour drive. You can't do that at 2:00 a.m.”

With him as the prize, I could do anything. ”Meet me halfway then.” I sing, I' ll walk with you until the dawn.

He sings back, I don't have my own car.