Part 18 (2/2)
”When Sadie told me your story, I just felt like I was meant to cross paths with you, you know?”
”I don't know if you got the wrong impression, Kenzie, but the girl I was involved with...she's not dead. I did lose friends in a really tragic accident but I didn't lose her that way.”
”I know that,” she said, shaking her head apologetically. ”And I don't know the whole story but it made me feel like we have something in common anyway. To lose someone is devastating. Maybe losing someone the way you did is even worse. She's alive and she's gone, whereas my Michael...I know he's really gone.”
I looked out my window then, still holding this girl's hand. She's alive and she' gone. She's gone. She's gone. The words were playing on repeat in my mind, tormenting me.
”I've been alone for a long time, Jeremy. I'm not looking for a serious commitment but I think I am ready to feel something for another person again.” She tugged on my hand gently and when I turned back to her, she leaned over and placed one gentle kiss on my lips. ”When you feel like you're ready, Sadie has my number. I'd really like it if you called me.”
She slid over the seat again, away from me, and went to open her door. I slid over some and grabbed for her hand. ”Wait, Kenzie.”
She turned back around and looked to me with hopeful expectation and desire in her eyes. ”I don't know what I'm doing right now. I don' want to hurt you and I suspect that I'm going to be someone you regret.”
Kenzie slowly turned her body and then moved across the seat and sat astride me, never taking her eyes off mine. ”I'm a big girl, Jeremy. I won't break if you kiss me.”
I didn't kiss her at first. I waited. There was a part of me screaming at myself to peel her off of me, put the car in drive and never look back. There was another part of me, though, the sad and f.u.c.king lonely guy, that melted at the feel of her nails sc.r.a.ping gently across the nape of my neck and heated at the feel of her soft core pressed against a part of me that was now thick and hard with l.u.s.t.
She dipped her head forward and whispered, ”Make me feel something, Jeremy,” before she pressed her soft lips to mine. Her barely there skirt was already scrunched up over her hips so when she pressed down onto me, there was just the satin of her underwear. She was grinding against the denim of my jeans. She wasn't shy, looking to take things slowly, or waiting on me to make the first move. She took one of my hands and placed it between us, wanting me to know she was wet. When my fingers made contact with the material, she moved her hips, inviting me to touch her. I nudged the material aside and felt her bare, smooth skin and sank two fingers into her wet folds. ”Oh, yeah,” she said on a whimper and then she claimed my lips feverishly, gripping the hair at the nape of my neck. I moved my fingers in and out, feeling her pleasure build as she rode my hand with more force. I was torn between wanting to stop-she deserved better than being exposed this way to me in my truck-and wanting to keep going, to have the pleasure of finis.h.i.+ng her off. I wanted this girl to feel something good. When I felt her getting closer, I nudged the fabric of her top aside and tugged one hardened nipple into my mouth as I curved my fingers inside of her to hit that spot. She bucked wildly a few times and then cried out. d.a.m.n, Kenzie was loud when she came-I'll admit it was hot. She rode her o.r.g.a.s.m out and then opened her eyes slowly, smiling at me, now suddenly bashful.
”Um, wow.”
”Did I make you feel something, honey?”
Her teeth dragged over her lower lip as she nodded. ”That was...wow.” She kissed me again as she reached down between us and went for my belt buckle. I reached down to stop her.
”Naw, you don't have to do that. Tonight was about you.”
”Fair is fair,” she said, reaching down again to rub my d.i.c.k through my jeans and then licking her lips. It was meant to be seductive but it left me feeling sorry for her.
”I don't want to take you in my truck, Kenzie. You deserve a h.e.l.l of a lot better than that.”
She smiled at me with awe and grat.i.tude, as if I was some sort of prince. ”I'd invite you up, Jeremy, because I really want to continue this, but,” she nodded her head towards the apartment building, embarra.s.sed, ”I still live with my parents.”
”That's cool. I live in the upstairs apartment at my dad's place. Cheap rent, right?”
”Yeah.” She traced her fingers along my jaw, gazing at me. ”I really like you, Jeremy.”
I placed my hand over hers, stopping her. ”I have to take things slowly and I can't make you any promises, Kenzie. To be honest, I think you should run like h.e.l.l from me. I don't think I can be what you need.”
”I'll take my chances,” she said as she slid off my lap, slowly. ”Give me your phone.” She threw her long hair over one shoulder and snapped a selfie, her body at an angle that put her full b.r.e.a.s.t.s on prominent display. She entered her contact information then and handed the phone back over. ”The ball is in your court, Jeremy. No pressure, but I hope you'll call me.”
I sat and waited until I saw she was safely inside the lobby before I drove off. I had to adjust myself several times on the drive home to alleviate that familiar, painful ache. The thought of Kenzie coming on my hand didn't have me worked up into this state. No, it was the memory of Carolyn, sitting in that same position all those years ago. Bared to me except for those little white panties, pleading with me to go further with her, to make her mine.
I wouldn't that night. I treated Carolyn like gla.s.s, like I had to be careful and go slow with her. If I had made her mine, would it all have turned out differently? Would she have trusted me? Let me know what Chase was doing to her? I bit back that old familiar anger, thinking about him threatening her, coercing her. Would she have let me in, let me take care of her? Would that act, connecting with her in that intimate way...would it have made her love for me strong enough?
Would it have made a d.a.m.n difference?
I'll never know.
”What's up?” I answered happily, always glad to see Andie's name flash across my screen.
”You know, saving the world, one learning disabled child at a time.”
”I love that you're at Briarwood, Andie. How cool is that, teaching the next generation?”
”I hate to say I got lucky, because this position only opened up because Mr. Frazier had a stroke, but I do love this job. Like, I am so happy waking up every day. How many people can say they have a job like that?”
I smiled. Andie hadn't changed; she was still all that was happiness and light. Her enthusiasm was infectious. ”How's Mateo?”
”Awesome.”
”Glad to hear it.”
”Oh, he's angling for an invite up to Killington this winter. Just warning you.”
I had gotten a place last winter, splitting the cost with my dad. It was nothing fancy, but it had a few extra guestrooms, a decent kitchen, a big a.s.s fireplace and a location that couldn't be beat-ski-on, ski-off. We rented it out for the Thanksgiving, Christmas and February school breaks to offset the cost, but otherwise, I tried to not miss too many weekends during the season.
”You two are always welcome. Um...you know what? On second thought,” I teased, ”Mateo is more than welcome but if you want to come up you have to promise that you'll at least attempt one run down the bunny hill.”
”Gah! I was not made to ski. I'm a beach b.u.m. You know this about me, Jeremy!”
”Then tell Mateo I'll see him soon.”
”Make you a deal. I'll bring a giant pot of my killer vegetarian chili and some of my awesome s.p.a.ce cakes...but I'm not skiing.”
”It's a deal...only if you stick some meat in that chili. Oh, and plain brownies for me, Andie. My s.p.a.ce-caking days are officially over.”
”You got it.”
”I've actually got to head up there sometime in the next few weeks.”
”Why so early?”
”Just to do some repairs and to tidy up. There's a nice sized hot tub on the deck but we couldn't use it last year. There are some wiring issues and the deck railing is kind of shot. I'm going to put in some outdoor lighting too.”
”Yeah, make sure you get that hot tub running since that's where I'll be spending most of my ski weekend,” she said, laughing.
”I haven't given up on you, Andie. I bet by the end of the winter me and Mateo will having you shredding up the slopes.”
”Not happening. You need your very own little snow bunny to torture. And on that note...anyone special in your life, Jeremy?”
”Not at the moment.”
”No worries, handsome, she's out there. You just haven't met her yet.”
No, I've met her, I said to myself.
<script>