Part 5 (2/2)
”The difference is that I was serving my country, that I wasn't told that if I fall one more time, I very well could die.”
”You might not have been told that, Travis, but every single time you stepped out onto a battlefield-or anywhere, really-you could have ended your life, and you almost did with that IED. To me, that's no different than my getting back on a bike. You tell me what's more dangerous, because a h.e.l.l of a lot more soldiers come home in caskets than dirt-bike racers.”
Taylor knew she was letting her temper get the better of her, but once she got on a roll, there was no stopping her.
”The difference is that I was fighting for something I believed in. I was helping others. What you're doing is for yourself. I get that. But when it comes to a point that you can have a small accident and die, that's when you have to let it go.”
”You're wrong, Travis,” she said, trying to pull away from him, but his arm tightened around her.
”It's easy to say I'm wrong, but you have to listen to your doctors. If they advise against racing, then that's what you have to do.”
”I still have another appointment that will either clear me or not. And it will clear me. Besides, they don't know me. They don't know what I'm capable of!”
”Bulls.h.i.+t, Taylor.” His voice was still calm, but his words pierced her anyway.
”You're only being this way because I'm a girl, right? Because women need to be told what to do,” she practically snarled.
”You can go on and on about its being because you're a woman, but if it was a male friend of mine who had the same diagnosis, I'd advise him to quit as well.”
”See, Travis! Right there,” she practically shouted. ”You would advise him to quit, not demand it.”
”I'm not demanding it of you, Taylor. No one can demand anything. You're an adult, and not only that, you're intelligent, and brave, and wonderful. You can make your own choices. As a friend, and hopefully soon as your lover, I'm saying that I care about you, that I want to see you live a long life, and that if the doctors were telling me that I shouldn't race anymore, I would sure as h.e.l.l listen. Of course, I didn't have any choice after I was injured.”
”But if you had a choice, you would go back, wouldn't you? Even if it could cost you your life? Don't lie to me!”
”Of course I would go back. I was serving my country,” he said, his own cool slightly unraveling.
”And just because you think that's more important doesn't mean that I do. I don't want to belittle the military. I have great respect for our men and women in uniform. I'm just saying that I'm as pa.s.sionate about the racing world as you are about the military.”
He was silent for a few moments and she allowed the silence. They were navigating in some rough waters right now, and the next words could end them before they'd even had a chance to see where they were going. Wasn't this why she was leery, though? Then why was her heart aching so badly? Was not making love to him even helping?
”Are you pa.s.sionate about racing, or pa.s.sionate about the world of racing?”
Taylor was confused by his words, didn't understand what he was saying to her now. ”I don't know what else to do if I don't race,” she said, her vulnerability coming through loud and clear, making her cringe.
”Just think about it, Taylor. Think about what is important to you, and how you can have your needs met. I had to do that when I couldn't be a soldier anymore. That's the path you have to find. And you will. It just takes time.”
”What are you going to do with your life?” she asked, needing to change the subject.
She held her breath and waited to see if he would allow the change in topic. When he spoke, she let it out. ”I was talking to Bryson before coming out here, and the more I think about it, the more excited I become. I think I'm opening up an investigation agency.”
”Like chasing after cheating exes?”
”No, though that could be fun,” he said with a laugh. ”I would take government contracts and investigate possible threats on U.S. grounds. I have contacts and business partners who are more than willing to go in on this with me.”
”Wow. Isn't that dangerous?”
”Yes, it is, as a matter of fact.”
And she was instantly angry again. ”Ugh. It's okay for you and Bryson to fight terrorists, but not okay for me to ride a bike.”
”You know, Taylor, you can still ride. The doctor is just saying you shouldn't compete.”
”What fun would it be if there's no compet.i.tion?”
”Oh, darling, I will have to show you how fun it could be,” he said, and his changing tone made her stomach tighten with need again.
It seemed they couldn't get through a single conversation without the s.e.xual tension going all supernova on them. But instead of offering him her lips, she continued resting her head against his shoulder as he went on explaining what he would need to do in order to open his company. Though truly fascinated, Taylor found herself growing tired.
Soon, she fell asleep against him, her last thought that she was right where she belonged-safe in his arms.
Taylor checked for the tenth time to make sure there was no one around. Yes, they'd been at the cabin nearing a month, and no, she hadn't seen anyone, but still, she was nervous as she glanced out at the trees and tried to work up the courage to do what she really wanted to do.
Travis had been away all morning, running errands in town. She should have just gone with him, but she'd woken up with a headache and figured she'd lie down and relax. She could go to town in a couple of days. She was beginning to miss people.
Not that she thought about anyone else when she was with Travis. He was just that sort of guy, the kind who made her forget there was a whole world out there waiting for her. When Travis was around, time seemed to stand still. If the two of them could just remain in their small piece of paradise forever, she wouldn't feel the desire to race again.
No. Get real. She was a racer. That was her destiny, what she was meant to do. Racing dwelled in her soul. She wouldn't become a woman who wrapped herself so much around a man that when he disappeared from her life she no longer had a purpose. She'd watched too many of her acquaintances fall into that trap. When the relations.h.i.+p shattered, they were shattered, too.
Taylor looked around again-still no sign of anyone. She finally began peeling off her clothes. She'd wanted to go skinny-dipping since her second day at the cabin, when Travis had stripped down and dived in.
It was something she'd never tried before, and since she was on a new adventure, she was going to be brave and just do it, be the woman she'd been before the wreck. Her fingers shook as she took off her shorts and top, and stood there in only her bra and panties.
Then, taking a breath of courage, she unclasped her bra, letting it drop to the ground, and before she could lose her nerve, she slid her tiny panties down her legs and stood completely naked on the diving rock.
The sun s.h.i.+ning down on her bare skin felt glorious, and she wanted to revel in it for a while, but she was still too afraid that eyes in the forest might be watching her, so she bent her knees and dived smoothly into the cold, breath-stealing water.
After swimming around the large pond several times, she adjusted to the temperature, then floated on her back and again wors.h.i.+pped the sun. She couldn't help but smile.
Why hadn't she ever done this before? She was a risk taker, or at least that's what she'd been a few months ago. If everyone knew the fears that had been running through her now, they wouldn't believe it was her. Slowly but surely, however, she was getting to be herself again. She hadn't jumped once at a strange noise in the last two weeks. That was progress!
”Well, well, well. This is a nice surprise.”
The sound of Travis's voice-he was almost yelling-made Taylor lose concentration, and she quickly sank beneath the surface of the water, then popped back up, sputtering as she coughed out the water she'd just inhaled.
”What are you doing here, Travis?” She was praying that the water covered her.
Her embarra.s.sment grew by leaps and bounds when she saw that he was holding her panties, dangling the blue silk from his fingertip, and that his mouth was shaped into a huge grin.
”I got back and wanted to find you, Taylor.”
His eyes were focused on the water in front of her, as if he could see her nakedness. Not possible, she told herself.
”Well, you found me. Go ahead and go back to the cabin. I'll be there shortly.” She was trying to stay afloat while looking at him. Not an easy task.
”I think I'll join you instead.” He let her panties drop back onto the rock and began pulling his tight T-s.h.i.+rt above his head, giving her an excellent view of his beautifully sculpted chest.
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