Part 47 (2/2)
And so each way I turned, there was a new dagger to stab me. No wonder that as Kitty said, I had no heart for anything, and only longed to be away and be at rest. Anxiety was added to the remorse and regret that I had first thought insupportable, and such an anxiety as made my nights sleepless, and my days a misery. No wonder that my white face, and the dark ring around my eyes bore hourly witness to the heaviness of my heart.
”Why so sad and pale, young sinner?” called out Grace that evening, as about an hour after tea we were dispersing to our rooms to dress for the all-important occasion. ”I think you ought to appear as Mariana, and sing 'I am aweary, aweary;' don't you think so, Mr. Rutledge?”
”Miss Grace, I haven't given the subject enough thought.”
”I would give worlds to know what you are going to wear, Mr. Rutledge!”
exclaimed Josephine. ”But I _know_ I shall detect you instantly. I should know your step and carriage under twenty dominoes, and among a thousand people.”
”Pretty high figures those, Joseph! Phil, I shall know you by your stride, and you couldn't disguise your voice if you practised a year, and that bow is 'Philip Arbuthnot, His Mark,' all the world over!”
”The best way to disguise our voices,” said Capt. McGuffy, ”is to speak French. I think we had all better agree to do it.”
”Ella will not object,” said Grace, ”now Mr. Viennet is not here to criticise.”
”Hush, Grace!” cried her sister maliciously. ”How can you be so thoughtless? Why do you continually harrow up your cousin's feelings. By the way, this is the day the steamer sails, is it not?”
”No, yesterday,” said Ellerton. ”The list of pa.s.sengers will be in to-day's papers. Has the mail come yet, Mr. Rutledge?”
”There is Thomas with it now.”
Thomas deposited the package on the hall table and withdrew. I was standing nearest of the group to it, and putting out my hand, took up the ”Times.”
The others approached and with great interest examined the letters. ”Why my dear!” said Josephine pleasantly, ”I'm astonished that there's none for you! Not a word since he went away. That doesn't look devoted!”
The color went and came in my face, but it wasn't the taunt that I minded.
”Never mind!” cried Grace, ”don't break its heart about him! It shall have another lover, it shall have the big Mason, so it shall!”
”May I trouble you for the 'Times' one moment?” asked Ellerton Wynkar, ”I want to look over the departures.”
”According to my cousin,” I said, tightening my grasp upon the paper, ”I have the greatest interest in them, and I must beg the privilege of reading the list first.”
”That's not fair!” cried Grace. ”How do you know but we have lovers sailing in the 'Arago' as well as you? I must have that paper,” and, springing forward, she grasped my wrists.
She could have overcome me in a moment, for just then I was as weak as a child; but Mr. Rutledge, in his firm, quiet way, released my hands, and, holding Grace's tightly in his own, said:
”You had better make your escape with it to your room; I cannot insure you if you stay.”
With a grateful look and a forced laugh I ran upstairs, locked myself in my room, and, tearing open the paper, glanced hurriedly up and down the columns for the list of the ”Arago's” pa.s.sengers. At last I found it, and skimmed eagerly through it. It was as I expected; I was not disappointed nor shocked; but my hand trembled so I could hardly cut the paragraph out. Ringing for Kitty, I sent the paper down, with my compliments to Mr. Wynkar.
It was nearly nine o'clock before Kitty came back to dress me. I had rung twice, but received no answer. When she did come, I saw in a moment that the delay had been caused by some unusual and exciting cause. She was nervous and uneasy, and started at every sound. Whenever I caught her eye, it dropped quickly before mine, and she hurried on with less than her usual care, the dress on which she had bestowed so much pains and regarded with so much pride. When I was dressed, I looked at myself with some surprise; I was, indeed, effectually disguised. Over my white tarletan ball-dress, I wore a domino of white silk, trimmed with heavy white fringe, and instead of the ordinary hideous black satin mask, a silver gauze before the upper part of my face, and a fall of white lace concealed my features entirely. The heels of my white kid boots were made very high, and that, together with the long sweeping dress, made me appear so much taller than usual, that that one circ.u.mstance would of itself have deceived almost any one. I noticed, after I was all dressed, and ready to go down, that Kitty was a long time in adjusting, to her entire satisfaction, the cord and ta.s.sel that confined the domino at the waist. Just as I was leaving the room, I chanced to look down, and saw that there was a narrow blue ribbon knotted to one of the ta.s.sels.
”What's this, Kitty? Take it off, please.”
”That? O, it's nothing, Miss. The ta.s.sel was a little loose, and I fastened it up.”
”But all the rest of my dress is white--this spoils the effect. You'd better take a piece of white ribbon.”
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