Part 25 (1/2)

'He shouted, and drank, and gambled, and danced, and sang, and fought the new chums all night, and in the morning he said--

'”Well, boys, we had a grand time last night. Come and have a drink with me.”

'And of course they went in and had a drink with him.

'Next morning the Flour was walking along the street, when he met a drunken, disreputable old hag, known among the boys as the ”Nipper”.

'”Good MORNING, me lovely Flour o' Wheat!” says she.

'”Good MORNING, me lovely Nipper!” says the Flour.

'And with that she outs with a bottle she had in her dress, and smashed him across the face with it. Broke the bottle to smithereens!

'A policeman saw her do it, and took her up; and they had the Flour as a witness, whether he liked it or not. And a lovely sight he looked, with his face all done up in b.l.o.o.d.y bandages, and only one damaged eye and a corner of his mouth on duty.

'”It's nothing at all, your Honour,” he said to the S.M.; ”only a pin-scratch--it's nothing at all. Let it pa.s.s. I had no right to speak to the lovely woman at all.”

'But they didn't let it pa.s.s,--they fined her a quid.

'And the Flour paid the fine.

'But, alas for human nature! It was pretty much the same even in those days, and amongst those men, as it is now. A man couldn't do a woman a good turn without the dirty-minded blackguards taking it for granted there was something between them. It was a great joke amongst the boys who knew the Flour, and who also knew the Nipper; but as it was carried too far in some quarters, it got to be no joke to the Flour--nor to those who laughed too loud or grinned too long.

'The Flour's cousin thought he was a sharp man. The Flour got ”stiff”.

He hadn't any money, and his credit had run out, so he went and got a blank summons from one of the police he knew. He pretended that he wanted to frighten a man who owed him some money. Then he filled it up and took it to his cousin.

'”What d'ye think of that?” he says, handing the summons across the bar.

”What d'ye think of me lovely Dinny Murphy now?”

'”Why, what's this all about?”

'”That's what I want to know. I borrowed a five-pound-note off of him a fortnight ago when I was drunk, an' now he sends me that.”

'”Well, I never would have dream'd that of Dinny,” says the cousin, scratching his head and blinking. ”What's come over him at all?”

'”That's what I want to know.”

'”What have you been doing to the man?”

'”Divil a thing that I'm aware of.”

'The cousin rubbed his chin-tuft between his forefinger and thumb.

'”Well, what am I to do about it?” asked the Flour impatiently.