Part 2 (1/2)

No discussion of this subject would be complete without a word on corporal punishment. It is impossible here to present all the arguments for or against it. I am sure, however, that the most enthusiastic advocates of it will admit that it is not always practised with discretion and that it is in most cases not only unnecessary but positively harmful. Children that are treated like animals will behave like animals; violence and brutality do not bring out the best in a child's nature. It would seem that intelligent parents do not need to resort to such methods in the training of normal children.

As suggested by our veteran novelist, William Dean Howells, we have clung to the wisdom of Solomon, in this respect, through centuries of changing conditions. Solomon said: ”Spare the rod and spoil the child”; Mr. Howells suggests that we might with profit spoil the rod and spare the child. In the small families of to-day there is no need to cling to the methods that may have worked well enough with the Oriental, polygamous despot, who never could know all his children individually, and it is therefore hardly necessary to use Solomon as our authority.

It is plain, then, that it is impossible to recommend any punishment as _the correct one_, or even to recommend any one infallible rule. This must depend upon the parent, upon the child, and upon the circ.u.mstances. But there are certain definite principles which we must keep in mind and which will do much toward making our task of discipline more rational:

We must never punish in anger.

We must consider the _motive_ and the _temptations_ before the _consequence_ of the deed.

We must condemn the _deed_ and not the child.

We must be sure that the child understands exactly the offence with which he is charged.

We must be sure that he sees the _relation_ of the _offence_ to the _punishment_.

We must never administer any _excessive_ or unusual punishment.

We must not _exaggerate_ the magnitude of the offence.

If we keep these principles in mind we may not always be right, but we shall certainly be right more often than if we had no policy or definite ideas. But, above all, we must recognize that punishment is only a corrective, and that it is our duty to build up the positive virtues. Let us expend our energy in the effort to establish good habits and ideals, and the child will shed many of the faults which now occupy the centre of our interest and attention.

In a family where the proper spirit of intimacy and mutual understanding and forbearance reigns punishment will be relegated to its proper place--namely, the medicine closet--and not be used as daily bread. For punishment is a medicine--a corrective--and when we administer it we must do in the spirit of the physician. We do not wish to be quacks and have one patent remedy to cure all evils; but, like physicians worthy of their trust, we must study the ailment and its causes, and above all must we study the patient. The same remedy will not do for all const.i.tutions. Therefore the punishment must not only fit the crime, but it must also be made to fit the ”criminal.”

Love and patience are the secret of child management. Love which can fare from the chilliest soul; patience which knows how to wait for the harvest.

III.

WHEN YOUR CHILD IMAGINES THINGS

Johnny was playing in the room while his mother was sewing at the window. Johnny looked out of the window and exclaimed, ”Oh, mother, see that great big lion!”

His mother looked, but saw only a medium-sized dog.

”Why, Johnny,” replied the mother, ”how can you say such a thing?

You know very well that was only a dog. Now go right in the corner and pray to G.o.d to forgive you for telling such a lie!”

Johnny went. When he came back, he said triumphantly, ”See, mother, G.o.d said He thought it was a lion Himself.”

This poor mother is a typical example of a large cla.s.s of mothers who fail to understand their children because they have no idea of what goes on in the child's mind. To Johnny the lion was just as _real_ as the dog was to the mother. And even if the dog had not been there for the mother to see, Johnny could have seen just as real a lion.

Every mother ought to know that practically every healthy child has imagination. You will have to take a long day's journey to find a child that has no imagination to begin with--and then you will find that this child is wonderfully uninteresting, or actually stupid.

You can easily observe for yourself that as soon as a child knows a large number of objects and persons and names he will begin to rearrange his bits of knowledge into new combinations, and in this way make a little world of his own. In this world, beasts and furniture and flowers talk and have adventures. When the dew is on the gra.s.s, ”the gra.s.s is crying.” b.u.t.terflies are ”flying pansies.”

Lightning is the ”sky winking,” and so on. This activity of the child's mind begins at about two years, and reaches its height between the ages of four and six. But it continues through life with greater or less intensity, according to circ.u.mstances and original disposition.

It is not only the poet and artist who need imagination, but all of us in our everyday concerns. Do you realize that the person to whom you like so much to talk about your affairs, because she is so sympathetic, _is sympathetic_ because she has imagination? For without imagination we cannot ”put ourselves in the place of another,” and much of the misery in the relation between human beings exists because so many of us are unable to do this. The happy cannot realize the needs of the miserable, and the miserable cannot understand why anyone should be happy--if they lack imagination.

The need for imagination, far from being confined to dreamers and persons who dwell in the clouds, is of great _practical_ importance in the development of mind and character. Imagination is a direct help in learning, and in developing sympathy. As one of our great moral leaders, Felix Adler, has said, much of the selfishness of the world is due, not to actual hard-heartedness, but to lack of imaginative power.