Volume II Part 42 (1/2)
If this essay fails, I have the alternative of a 's cottage She is a good old soul--with the best of little boys for a grandson, and sole companion; the old wo the fishermen But there will be fleas
Oh! d--n it all! what is a flea? Why should a braveflea? You are not afraid of twelve-inch shells or railroad trains or torpedoes--what, then, is a flea? Of course by ”a flea” I enerically_ I've doneand the short of it is that if you go anywhere outside of the Grand Hotel you _must_ stand fleas--piles, es_ of fleas! There! Fleas are a necessary part of human existence
The iceman offers you a room breezy, cool,--you eat with ot_ to make the acquaintance of some fleas! Just think how many unpleasant acquaintances _I_ run away from! yet--I have Buddha's patience with fleas
At this athered-up-for-a-ju over my hand
Affectionately, LAFCADIO
TO MITChell McDONALD
TOKYO, Septe you two documents just received--one from Lowder's new company, I suppose; the other, which makes me rather vexed, from that ---- woman, who has evidently never seen or known me, and who spells my name ”Lefcardio” (Wish you would point out to her somebody who looks small and queer,--and tell her, ”That is Mr Hearn--he is waiting to see you”) At all events, these folks have si up a job to amuse the up a job to annoy _you_ We are in the same boat; but you can take much better care of yourself than I can I do wish that you could find out so about those ---- people: I a leftsure is that I shall not go down to the Grand Hotel again for ages to come--I wish I could venture to say ”never”--nevero down If I am to be tormented by folks in this way, I had better run away from the university and from Tokyo at once
That ---- woman is a most damnable liar I wonder who she can be
Well, sovery real; for I only want to pour ood I think you are, nor how I feel about the pleasure of our last too briefBut I do feel s,--the i writer,--the jealousies aroused by attentions paid to him,--the loss to him of creative power that follows upon invitations of any kind You represent, in a way, the big world of society It kills every man that it takes notice of--or rather, every ion; and they are strangled as soon as they begin to make the shadow of a reputation Solitude and peace of ood work Attentions nue of inspiration I feel that I cannot go to Ao to I shall have to get away froo You see only one side--what you think, with good reason, are the advantages of being personally known But the other side,--the disadvantages,--the annoyances, the horrors--you do not know anything about; and you are stirring thenats A few more visits to Yokohama would utterly smash me--and at this moment, I do wish that I never had written a book
No: an author's instincts are his best guide His natural dislike to meet people is not shyness,--not want of self-appreciation: it is ee of the conditions necessary to peace of mind and self-cultivation Introduce him, and you murder his power,--just as you ruin certain solutions by taking out the cork The germs enter; and the souls of him rot! Snubs are his best medicine They keep him humble, obscure, and earnest Solitude is what he needs--what every man of letters knows that an author needs No decent as ever done under any other conditions He wants to be protected from admiration, from kindnesses, from notice, from attentions of any sort: therefore really his ill-wishers are his friends without knowing it
Yet here I aift-box,--and brutally telling hiht or wrong? I feel like kicking ain in this world to visit the Grand Hotel! I wonder if my friend will stand this declaration with equanimity He says that he will never ” that _understanding_ in this case
And I can't make aon airs That is the worst of it
Hope you will forgive and sympathize with
LAFCADIO
TO MITChell McDONALD
TOKYO, October, 1899
DEAR MITChell,--No news up here, to interest you
I a ain for several years Anyhow, I shall never write again except when the spirit moves me It doesn't pay; and what you call ”reputation” is a --a nasty sels to which the wicked are destined (Thanks for your promise not to make any more introductions; but I fear the mischief has been done; and Yokohama is now for me a place to be shunned while life lasts)
Six hundred pages (about) represent my present quota of finished ood deal, and publish only after judicious delay While every book I write costs et for it, it is evident that literature holds no possible rewards forto try to do soood, that won't sell
In the meanwhile, however, I want not to think about publishers and past efforts at all That is waste of tireat Pacific instead,--unless I have to cross a greater Pacific in very short order I should like a chat with you soon; but I ae It is better not When I keep to row: a sudden change of milieu invariably stops the fermentation Wish you were anywhere else that is pleasant except--at the G H
Affectionately ever, LAFCADIO
TO MITChell McDONALD
TOKYO, October, 1899