Volume II Part 38 (2/2)

DEAR FRIEND,--I a will not please you altogether Forgive anything in it which you do not like--for the sake of the friendshi+p behind it

The matter is difficult; and I cannot at thisof thefurther until I explain things as well as I can, and have heard your answer Before I can do anything more, I want you to make some promises to _me_, your friend After that you can in with, in regard to explanation, I think you are wrong, and that your wife and her father are quite right Under the same circumstances, if I were her father, I should take her away fro by _heart_--you are wrong only because you do not understand, do not know the conditions Women of different classes cannot be all treated alike Your wife is a refined, gentle lady--very sensitive and very easily hurt by harsh words or neglect You cannot expect to treat such a lady like a farm-servant or a peasant-woman It would kill her But I have heard (_not_ from your wife, but froarden, under a hot sun, thirty days after childbirth and the loss of her child This see, and you cannot have knohat it means to a woman's constitution

A refined lady will not submit to be treated like a servant--unless she has no spirit at all Your wife's action shows that she has self-respect and spirit; and you want the mother of your children to be a wory with her because she shows this honourable pride It is good

I do not think that you can expect your wife to act as a daughter to your parents, or to live with theed h the new schools are no longer hardy and strong like the Samurai women of old days Observe how e

Then your parents and your wife belong to different eras,--different conditions,--different worlds If they should expect your wife to be all to theht have been in the old days, I fear that would be ith for that; and her whole nature is differently constituted

I think you could only be happy by living alone with each other in your own house Perhaps this see to you,--but that is Meiji The fault is in the times, not in hearts

If you marry another educated lady of the new school, you will have exactly the same trouble The old conditions cannot be e

But the chief trouble, of course, would be your attitude to your wife

You have not, I think, been considerate to her--regarded her too much as one bound to serve and obey It will not do in _her_ case She has spirit, and she wants different treat man to treat a wife exactly as he would treat a child that he loves

By her weakness and delicacy every educated woman is a child, and must be petted and loved like a child If she be harshly treated, and have no pleasure--even if she be treated as well as you would treat a _man_-friend--then the result is unfortunate always, and the children born will show the mother's pain

Your wife is evidently afraid of the future--thinks it iet froht to have, anddefinite; but I am sure of this She will not tell you her troubles--you should know the told Not to know theo in society and in educated circles, the ed or understood as awith a distinct character, and very, very delicate feelings

Well, this is enough to give you an idea of how I see the matter _Can you honestly promise to treat your wife in a completely neay,--with such delicacy as you never did before, and always?_ If you can, I _think_ we caniard to family matters Can you not make this matter smooth also? Please answer before three o'clock Do not co, or to-morrow In haste,

Affectionately, your friend, Y KOIZUMI

TO ----

DEAR FRIEND,--After you bid us good-bye, I began to think about things, and resolved to write you a little letter about ner, I cannot pretend to make absolutely correct conclusions; but I should like to be of use to you as a friend, and therefore believe that I cannot do any har both sides of the question, as they appear to me

It seeht not have been fully thought over yet The woman's side, I ht be this:--

A wo, may be very sensitive and delicate--and ine possible, by reason of very little matters When about to becoreatly increases, and after childbirth it remains intense These are natural conditions; but after the loss of a child, the condition is a very serious one, especially for a lady who has been well educated I know this chiefly by soy--Nohat I nancy should, I believe, be not only forgiven, but _lovingly_ forgiven,--because _then_, what she suffers no man can really understand And the more educated she is, the more refined she is, the more she suffers

Suppose noe look at her view,--or at what ht be her view She has a very affectionate and true husband; but he is very strong, has never been nervous or nervously sick, cannot understand what she suffers She is ashamed to confess her weakness and her pain So she does not tell hi The loss of her child is a very great pain to her--et it Still, her husband does not know all this She is not able to be quick and active and ready, and he does not understand why Even a wo this painful period Her , and can only beco of her child, orpeasant-woman this is a small trial; but to the educated lady it is a question of life and death, and not a few even lose their reason after losing a child--becoist knows this; but many do not And the wife, in such a case, may seem not to be kind to the parents--simply because she _cannot_ be She has the will,--not the physical power She is in the position of one who needs a servant--needs all the help and coive help and do service; because neither body nor h--_because_ she has been strained to her uttermost by her years of education It is the same way the world over The lady cannot do or suffer as much as the woman who has not passed her youth at schools Mind and body have been transforine that this must be the state of affairs

Your wife and her parents do not wish to do wrong, in h to remain your wife under the sas which seem to a man mere trifles, while in a delicate condition And she fears that she would be unhappy and sick and lose another child But she will never _tell_ you A wos Unless a husband can understand _without being told_,--the two cannot live together long

The result must be, for the wife, death!

I think, dear friend, that this is the truth of the ood friends, or else--what could you do?