Part 11 (1/2)

”Nothing.” He looked angry for some reason. ”I need some coffee. I'm going to find the waiters and see if they can bring some up. I'll only be gone a few minutes. I promise.”

Before she could answer, he was through the door leading to the hotel elevator. Something she said had been misconstrued. She thought about her comments and realized he thought she was talking as if they had some kind of future.

Dammit. Jackson. I didn't mean it the way you think.

The wary look in his eyes hadn't been anger-he wanted to escape. How many times had he said he had to move on and that he'd be traveling soon? This was supposed to be a fun weekend with no ties.

The hurt strangled her lungs, until she didn't think she could breathe. Suddenly she felt very alone.

h.e.l.l, there's a good chance he's on his way to Bangkok and out of your life right now.

”If he comes back, I won't mention a word about the future. Please, give me one more night with the man,” she said to the heavens. ”Please, let him come back. I'm not ready to say goodbye. I need more time.”

She sniffled. ”Jackson, I need you.”

Maybe she was tired. Maybe it was too much sun, but she couldn't stop the tears from spilling over.

JACKSON STARED AT HIMSELF in the copper-colored elevator doors.

Coward.

The second she mentioned anything about the future he'd bolted like a bull with an open gate. It wasn't that he hadn't been thinking the same thing. A future with Mar invaded his thoughts more often than not the last few hours. He'd come to realize that she had become the most important person in his life.

That was the rub.

He couldn't allow himself to think that way. It wasn't a good idea for either of them. Then she made the comment about him taking care of her any time, and he'd panicked. He wanted to be there always to take care of her, to hold on to her and never let go.

When she mentioned future men who would be compared to him, he'd almost come unglued. He wanted to grab her right then and tell her that no other man would ever touch her. That he was the only man for her.

The feeling was so strong it freaked him out. He'd never felt so possessive about anyone, h.e.l.l, anything. The idea that she would share those pa.s.sionate kisses and her gorgeous body with some other man sent his mind and body into turmoil.

Jackson was determined to be the only man she would ever need.

That's not going to happen.

For one millisecond he considered telling her the truth. Explaining why he couldn't be around much longer-a.s.sa.s.sins could be around any corner. He'd be lucky if he lived through the next weekend.

He knew he wouldn't.

Stop being a desperate loser. The last thing she needs to know is your secrets. Then you really will get her killed.

Jackson found the maitre d' at the restaurant, who had arranged the special dinner upstairs. ”Would it be possible to have coffee sent up?”

”Yes, sir.” The man took the money Jackson offered.

”If you don't mind. Give us about twenty minutes.” Jackson would need to come up with some plausible explanation for why he acted like such an idiot. Mar hadn't meant anything by talking about the future. She only wanted to show her appreciation.

The maitre d' nodded. ”Of course. Would you also like a dessert tray?”

The idea of food turned Jackson's stomach, but he knew how much Mar loved sweets. ”Sure. Whatever you think works. But twenty minutes, okay?” Jackson turned.

”Did she like it?” the man asked.

Jackson gave him a confused look.

”Your wife? Did she enjoy the meal?” His wife?

Why didn't that scare the h.e.l.l out of him like it should?

Because you care about her, idiot.

He'd been a jerk to leave her like that.

”She loved it. Thanks.” Jackson walked quickly to the elevator, berating himself as it climbed the eight floors to the rooftop.

In his life he'd seen so much violence and corruption, but nothing had ever prepared him for what he viewed when he opened the door and stepped out onto the rooftop. Mar was sitting at the table wiping a tear from her cheek.

”Baby, what's wrong?”

Her sobs intensified and her shoulders shook. Her face was hidden from him and finally he pulled her hands away so that he could see her.

”Tell me.” He whispered the words, brus.h.i.+ng her hair away from her tear-streaked face. She hiccupped.

”I'm sorry I left like that. The coffee will be here in a bit. I should have just called down.”

Mar put her hand on his heart. ”Jackson.” The word came out on a shudder. ”I don't need coffee. I need you.”

The words. .h.i.t him like a sucker punch to the gut. No one had ever needed him. No one he'd ever cared about had said those words to him. He kissed her head. ”I'm here, baby. Tell me what's wrong.”

She sat up a little straighter and he handed her a tissue from the side table. ”It's silly. I-I thought you left. You ran out of here so fast when I accidentally mentioned the future, and I thought I spooked you. I promise you, I'm not expecting anything past this weekend. But I'm not ready for it to be over yet. I-I didn't want you to leave without saying goodbye.”

The last part of the wall around his heart fell away. She cared for him as much as he did her. The practical side of him knew he'd soon have no choice but to leave, but not right now.

”Babe, why would you think that?” He touched her chin with his finger. ”I would never leave without saying goodbye to you.”

Mar blotted her nose with the tissue. ”But when you left-you had this really weird look on your face. You can't fool me. Something I said freaked you out.”

Her breath hitched and she coughed a little. ”I don't have any desire to leave you, Mar.” That part was true. ”But-there is something you should know. I-will have to leave soon. You know as well as I do that neither of us is safe as long as we stay in Thailand. I guess when you said something about the future it made me think that we really don't have much more time together.”

”You're a really good liar, Jackson. But you forget I do have one talent besides my awesome surfing skills. I can read people.”

Jackson dragged his chair next to hers and held her hand. She definitely had acquired that talent. Still, he didn't want to discuss it right then. ”Mar, let's enjoy the night. You have your moon and your stars.”

She took her hand back and stood to face him. ”No. I need to say this to you now because I don't know when you're going to leave,” she demanded. ”And I'm sorry if it scares you, but I'm not sure I'll ever be ready for you to go.” Her voice trembled. ”Mar, honey.”

She held up a hand and took a settling breath. ”You-you made me care, and that's a good thing in so many ways. I'd reached a point where the only thing that brought me any joy was work. I didn't feel like I fit in with the rest of the world. I know it's crazy, and I expect nothing from you, but I feel like I fit when you're around.”