Part 5 (1/2)

Well, she wasn't exactly solitary.

How the h.e.l.l did I end up at a beach resort with this woman?

What would she expect from him? He was used to lying, but it didn't feel right to do something false with Mariska. Well, any more than he'd already done.

Jackson wasn't one to live with regrets or guilt, but he didn't like using her.

If it keeps you alive it'll be worth it.

It wasn't that he didn't want her.

That's the problem. I want her too much. And she's too d.a.m.n good for the likes of me. The last thing she needs is some renegade spook putting her life in danger.

He should deposit her in her room, and make an excuse that he had business back in the city. He'd accidentally keep her computer and send it to her when he heard from Dawson. Honestly, he had no idea why his handler had arranged for them to meet. The more he had come to know Mariska, the less the dots connected.

They stood on the beach watching the horizon. The waves lapping against the sh.o.r.e were the only sound, and it was the most peaceful moment Jackson had experienced in years. He forced himself to concentrate on the scene before him and let his mind rest for a few seconds. He could figure out his next move later.

”Is it me or does the sun seem even bigger here.” Her voice was soft as a feather and full of awe. She leaned back against his chest. It seemed such a natural move, like they'd been together for years. Automatically, he wrapped his arms around her.

After all, the woman deserved some comfort after what they'd been through. She was a trouper, this one, and hadn't complained about the zigzag path he tore through Bangkok to lose the tail they'd picked up while trying to leave the hotel. The dark black sedan that had followed them at the airport had been waiting outside the garage. Knowing it might be a possibility, Jackson had planned ahead, and lost the car about three minutes into the chase. Then after he was sure they were safe, he'd backtracked to make sure the casino thugs thought they'd gone the opposite direction.

Mariska had held tight to him, never saying a word, though he did feel her hands fist with nerves a few times. h.e.l.l, if he hadn't been gripping the handlebar of the j.a.panese motorcycle he might have been doing the same thing. If he told her to lean right or left she did, never questioning his instincts.

He was surprised that she didn't begin her nervous chattering as soon as they were free of the nuisance. He figured she needed to process the fact that they'd been so close to danger. The more he was around her the more he realized she wasn't used to being in the middle of the action.

”The sun does seem larger,” he said. ”Of course that probably has something to do with a serious lack of pollution, which can dull-”

She slapped at the arm he'd wrapped around her waist. ”Don't ruin it for me with facts, let me have the magic.”

He grinned. She was definitely a woman who deserved some magic.

He already knew about her mother, but more research revealed that she'd taken over her mother's agency right out of college. She had finished her Ph.D. in clinical psychology with an emphasis on the criminal mind.

That explained why textbook-wise she seemed like a smart investigator, but she didn't have many practical skills.

The confidence he'd seen earlier had been an act. He knew that now and it made him like her even more. She did whatever it took to get the job done. That was something they had in common. She also had good natural instincts. At the club and the ma.s.sage parlor she'd acted the parts as if she'd been born to them.

She needed to work on watching the world around her. Maybe he could teach her to be more observant before they had to part ways.

There he went again, acting like he might hang around.

He sighed, and she turned to him.

”Are you sorry you came with me? I can be a bit of a romantic at times. I'm not expecting anything from you.” She frowned. ”I mean. You know I think we can be friends.”

”Friends?” He smiled at her. ”Yes, that's a possibility. But I can tell you that I'm expecting a great deal from you.” He kissed her again. He couldn't seem to stop himself from doing that, and wondered if her lipstick had some kind of pheromone that drew him to her full lips. He'd seen stranger things in his business. ”Finished with your sunrise?”

She gave a happy sigh, and smiled back at him. That small gesture sent warmth through his body. His c.o.c.k stirred and he pulled away before she could feel his physical interest. ”Maybe we should check in.”

Taking her hand, he started up the beach, but she stopped him. ”About that. I-rented one of the villas on the beach. And there's only-um. There's only one bed. I can try and change it. They may have a suite where you could have your own room?”

Two rooms wasn't a bad idea. He already felt unsure about advancing their friends.h.i.+p without being completely honest with her. And frankly, he wasn't sure how long he'd be able to withstand her charms, since he desired her more than anyone he'd ever met. It scared the h.e.l.l out of him.

”Oh. Wow.” Her voice rose in pitch, her face pinched in distress. ”That silence answered my question loud and clear. Now I'm really embarra.s.sed. I'll see if I can get the suite.”

His nonanswer had been misinterpreted. This time he was the one who stopped her from walking. Taking her in his arms, he pressed his lips against hers. Sweet. She tasted so sweet and warm. He'd first noticed it when their lips met at the club, and now that same sensation sent his mind in a million different directions, eventually landing in one thought.

He wanted to take her right there on the beach.

Finally he lifted his face from hers. ”We can go as fast or as slow as you want. You don't strike me as a woman who likes to rush into things, but have no doubt that I desire you, Mariska Stonegate.” He meant every word.

Part of his brain screamed he was an a.s.s for getting involved with her. He'd only break her heart in a few days, and there was always that looming possibility of getting them both killed if Vlad caught up with them.

The other part of his brain said, ”Screw it.” Jackson wasn't sure he'd leave Thailand alive. Burned CIA agents didn't have long retirements. Whatever his future held, he had to spend the next few days with this woman.

It probably wasn't fair to either of them, but at least he'd have memories of her. And he would do his best to make sure she had the time of her life.

”So, you've figured out I've never done anything like this before.” She scrunched up her face. She was so adorable.

”If it makes you feel any better I can honestly say I've never run off on a beach vacation with a woman.” Well, at least when it wasn't for work. He'd done it in the line of duty, but there'd never been time for any relations.h.i.+ps. He'd become a machine the last six years. Everything was about the job.

Now they didn't give a c.r.a.p about him.

But Mariska did. That she desired him as much as he did her was enough. A few days on a beach wouldn't be much of a hards.h.i.+p. He'd give her that, knowing he was the one receiving the real gift.

Taking her hand in his, he led her up to the lobby of the hotel.

”Okay, so we have one of the water villas right on the beach. We're going to have fab views, I'm told. At least I think that's what the desk clerk said.” She smiled at him, covering her discomfort. ”I think he's French, and his English was almost so perfect I couldn't understand him.”

”Mar, don't be nervous around me. The villa is great,” he a.s.sured her. ”I'll keep my promise. We'll take our time. We both need to relax and have some fun. There's nothing wrong with that.”

It might kill him to take it slow. This woman made him burn like no other, but it wouldn't be such a bad way to die. He'd almost been killed in a myriad of ways. Yes, he much preferred dying from pining after a woman he didn't deserve, as long as he could do it in her presence.

When she reached up and kissed his cheek it surprised him. ”That's the problem. I don't want to go slow, Jackson.” With that she took his hand and all but dragged him to their small villa.

This is going to be one h.e.l.l of a ride. Jackson followed her like a smitten puppy.

8.

I'm about to sleep with Jackson. Okay, lungs, breathe.

The short trip down the beach path to the villa seemed to take forever. Mariska had never thought of herself as particularly bold, but it was as if a s.e.xy alien had taken over her body. Jackson caused her to say and do things she'd only fantasized about.

The last year had been about her pretending to be something she wasn't. Everyone thought because she was Janice Stonegate's daughter she could step right into her mother's shoes. But those shoes had been about two sizes too big and Mariska constantly played catch-up. Hiding the fact that she lacked the basic skills to be a decent investigator had worn her out.

When she went back to the office she'd tell the rest of the staff the truth. They deserved it. Though she would still meet with clients. That was something she was good at. Discerning the needs of whoever walked in the door.