Part 36 (2/2)
”I thought as much,” Vesta said slowly. ”It made you inflict an undeserved hurt on a man who should have had better treatment at your hands; not only because he loves you, but because he is one of the few men who deserve the best that you or any woman can give.”
Hazel straightened up angrily.
”Where do you get your astonis.h.i.+ng information, pray?” she asked hotly.
”And where do you get your authority to say such things to me?”
Vesta tucked back a vagrant strand of her tawny hair. Her blue eyes snapped, and a red spot glowed on each smooth, fair cheek.
”I don't get it; I'm taking it,” she flung back. ”I have eyes and ears, and I have used them for months. Since you inquire, I happened to be going over the Lake Division on the same train that carried your husband back to the North. You can't knife a man without him bearing the marks of it; and I learned in part why he was going back alone.
The rest I guessed, by putting two and two together. You're a silly, selfish, shortsighted little fool, if my opinion is worth having.”
”You've said quite enough,” Hazel cried. ”If you have any more insults, please get rid of them elsewhere. I think you are--”
”Oh, I don't care what you think of me,” the girl interrupted recklessly. ”If I did I wouldn't be here. I'd hide behind the conventional rules of the game and let you blunder along. But I can't.
I'm not gifted with your blind egotism. Whatever you are, that Bill of yours loves you, and if you care anything for him, you should be with him. I would, if I were lucky enough to stand in your shoes. I'd go with him down into h.e.l.l itself gladly if he wanted me to!”
”Oh!” Hazel gasped. ”Are you clean mad?”
”Shocked to death, aren't you?” Vesta fleered. ”You can't understand, can you? I love him--yes. I'm not ashamed to own it. I'm no sentimental prude to throw up my hands in horror at a perfectly natural emotion. But he is not for me. I dare say I couldn't give him an added heartbeat if I tried. And I have a little too much pride--strange as it may seem to you--to try, so long as he is chained hand and foot to your chariot. But you're making him suffer. And I care enough to want him to live all his days happily. He is a man, and there are so few of them, real men. If you can make him happy I'd compel you to do so, if I had the power. You couldn't understand that kind of a love. Oh, I could choke you for your stupid disloyalty. I could do almost anything that would spur you to action. I can't rid myself of the hopeless, reckless mood he was in. There are so few of his kind, the patient, strong, loyal, square-dealing men, with a woman's tenderness and a lion's courage. Any woman should be proud and glad to be his mate, to mother his children. And you--”
She threw out her hands with a sudden, despairing gesture. The blue eyes grew misty, and she hid her face in her palms. Before that pa.s.sionate outburst Hazel sat dumbly amazed, staring, uncertain. In a second Vesta lifted her head defiantly.
”I had no notion of breaking out like this when I came up,” she said quietly. ”I was going to be very adroit. I intended to give you a friendly boost along the right road, if I could. But it has all been bubbling inside me for a long time. You perhaps think it very unwomanly--but I don't care much what you think. My little heartache is incidental, one of the things life deals us whether we will or not.
But if you care in the least for your husband, for G.o.d's sake make some effort, some sacrifice of your own petty little desires, to make his road a little pleasanter, a little less gray than it must be now.
You'll be well repaid--if you are the kind that must always be paid in full. Don't be a stiff-necked idiot. That's all I wanted to say.
Good-by!”
She was at the door when she finished. The click of the closing catch stirred Hazel to speech and action.
”Vesta, Vesta!” she cried, and ran out into the corridor.
But Vesta Lorimer neither heeded nor halted. And Hazel went back to her room, quivering. Sometimes the truth is bitter and stirs to wrath.
And mingled with other emotions was a dull pang of jealousy--the first she had ever known. For Vesta Lorimer was beautiful beyond most women; and she had but given ample evidence of the bigness of her soul. With shamed tears creeping to her eyes, Hazel wondered if _she_ could love even Bill so intensely that she would drive another woman to his arms that he might win happiness.
But one thing stood out clear above that painful meeting. She was done fighting against the blankness that seemed to surround her since Bill went away. Slowly but steadily it had been forced upon her that much which she deemed desirable, even necessary, was of little weight in the balance with him. Day and night she longed for him, for his cheery voice, the whimsical good humor of him, his kiss and his smile.
Indubitably Vesta Lorimer was right to term her a stiff-necked, selfish fool. But if all folk were saturated with the essence of wisdom--well, there was but one thing to be done. Silly pride had to go by the board. If to face gayly a land she dreaded were the price of easing his heartache--and her own--that price she would pay, and pay with a grace but lately learned.
She lay down on the lounge again. The old pains were back. And as she endured, a sudden startling thought flashed across her mind. A possibility?--Yes. She hurried to dress, wondering why it had not before occurred to her, and, phoning up a taxi, rolled downtown to the office of Doctor Hart. An hour or so later she returned. A picture of her man stood on the mantel. She took it down and stared at it with a tremulous smile.
”Oh, Billy-boy, Billy-boy, I wish you knew,” she whispered. ”But I was coming, anyway, Bill!”
That evening, stirring about her preparations for the journey, she paused, and wondered why, for the first time since Bill left, she felt so utterly at peace.
CHAPTER x.x.xIII
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