Part 94 (1/2)
”The King thought the plan a most excellent one,” Minanonn protested. ”He told me he would be heartened, knowing that you and the children and the Peaceful Folk would be preserved against the fall of Night. If anyone can save this poor ManyColoured Land, he can. Nevertheless, he seeks to repay what he considers to be his debt to us three, in grat.i.tude for saving his life at the Rio Genii and his sanity at Quicksilver Cave.”
”I'm not going with you on Kyllikki,” Elizabeth said.
”But you must!” Dionket exclaimed. ”We'll need your help to raise the newly operant young ones to their full potential.”
She had shut herself away from them. ”Lord Healer, I don't have the courage to begin all over again in your Fortunate Isles.
I've had enough of exile. I'll teach you and Creyn as much of the preceptorial material as I can-the educational shortcuts, the special mind-expanding techniques that you can't infer or deduce yourselves. The children won't grow up Milieu-adept, but they'll do well enough. And with Marc's adaptation of Brendan's program, you'll be able to modify the brain of each newly born baby so that the torcs will never be needed again.”
”But we need you !” Dionket exclaimed.
”You don't,” she retorted. ”Why won't you understand? Is it because you refuse to? Must I show you my self naked before you'll accept what I tell you and let me be?”
Minanonn said, ”Elizabeth, we love you and want you with us!”
”So does Aiken,” she said. ”I've decided to stand by him, to give him whatever help I can in the war.”
”He hasn't asked this of you,” Dionket said. ”This doomseeking choice of yours is born of despair, not love for your friend.”
”And what if it is?” she shot back. ”It's my life, isn't it? I've tried to do my best for all of you-G.o.d knows I have. But I can't bear any more! I want to help Aiken precisely because he hasn't begged me to. He knows I'm not some maternal abstraction, some all-wise personification of your G.o.ddess sent to light and guard and rule and guide. I'm just his friend. And I'm going to sit beside him at the games and forget about Nightfall for a few days, and not think about anybody but myself!”
”Elizabeth, reconsider,” Minanonn begged her. ”You could be such a great help to us. It would be satisfying work-”
”Oh, yes?” she said quietly; and before they realized what was happening her barriers had fallen to show the coc.o.o.n of fire. ”I've tried that, friends. Done my very best-just as I promised you when I left Redactor House in Muriah after the Flood. A little of what I accomplished lifted me, but the fire was always just out of sight, waiting for the pendulum to swing to the failure side again. You wanted me to be Brede, but I was only a misfit-just as out of place here in the Many-Coloured Land as Marc Remillard was in the Galactic Milieu.” And like me he could have done so much good his dream his power his immortality all wasted why wasn't he Jack why was I separated from Lawrence why am I too weak alone why is he too determined to be strong alone why if G.o.d lives does he let the misfit minds suffer so misunderstand themselves so refuse touch refuse love why was I afraid even knowing he was sorry reaching gratified by Brendan why couldn't I have touched him even at the last told him the answer his real work (Creyn knew!) helped him find it in spite of fearing now it's too late he's lost I'm lost let it pa.s.s let it all pa.s.s let me go friends if you care let me go let me fly away ...
”Don't!” they both cried. But she had run off down the garden path into the night and her mental admonition not to follow seemed to hang in the air, written in anguish.
”So Creyn was right after all,” said Minanonn. ”How very singular.”
Dionket sighed. ”I've had a hard day, and tomorrow will be even worse when I have to phase in you and the rest of the coercers. Don't worry about Elizabeth. She won't do anything rash tonight. I'm going to bed. Take my advice and do the same.”
The two of them went back into the chalet. Somewhere a flute was playing.
CHAPTER.
NINE It was almost dawn. The First Day of the Grand Tourney was about to begin.
”I can't do it!” she protested to the Genetics Master. ”I'm not worthy of such an honour.”
But he said, ”Don't be an idiot, girl. You're my guest-and my triumph-and you'll ride at my side and you'll love it.”
And she did. And here they were, pa.s.sing through the western gate of Nionel under the ritual overcast of the pearly sunrise, all in a great procession heading for the Rainbow Bridge.
Sugoll, as host of the games, led the way riding a white chaliko and wearing milk-coloured armour chased with silver. Behind him came Katlinel in her auroral gown; and riding on her right hand were Sharn and Ayfa in jewel-lavished obsidian mail, and on her left Aiken-Lugonn the s.h.i.+ning One with Elizabeth, who wore Brede's black-and-scarlet robes and glittering mask. After the royalty, flanked by marching Howlers wearing their most attractive illusory bodies and carrying chains of flowers, rode the members of the High Table and the Gnomish Council in alternating double files. They were followed by the Howler Great Ones (and she and Greg-Donnet in the midst of them!) and the high n.o.bility of the dimorphic race ranged four-andfour abreast, knights and noncombatants in colourful array. The rest of the Howler commons marched solemnly in the rear, carrying green branches and flower sheaves bound onto ribbontopped poles. There were no skull-topped effigy standards in evidence, no martial battle-pennons, no unsheathed arms.
The air was alive with a deep humming, the Firvulag commonalty in the packed grandstand across the river voicing their traditional overture to the Opening of the Sky. In previous years, on the salt flats of the Tanu-dominated Grand Combat, the sound had been bitter and mind p.r.i.c.kling. But here was no sterile expanse of seabottom but rather a green meadow, and thousands of birds sang their dawn chorus in a cheerful descant to the portentous drone. Even the Firvulag n.o.bles found themselves smiling as they crossed the Nonol and entered the Field of Gold, that scene of past glories, and noted that the Little People jammed their grandstand and overflowed onto the sidelines, whereas the other seating structure that accommodated Tanu and humanity was only three-quarters filled.
”How strangely bright everything looks!” she exclaimed to Greg-Donnet. ”And so clear! It seems I can see every little flower in the festoons borne by our folk, and every gem adorning the armour of the Great Ones, and every decoration on every banner topping the two grandstands!”