Part 82 (2/2)
His mind reached out in empathy, only to impinge on the mental s.h.i.+eld.
She said, ”As we flew down to Black Crag, I mind-spoke at some length with Minanonn the Heretic, asking him how he had found peace after realizing the futility of the battle-religion. He told me that a change of heart isn't really sufficient recompense for a great sin. It has to be affirmed by some kind of repentant action or the mind can't purge guilt, and if we try to deny this, then the soul finds its own penance, as Papa's has tried to do.
But in his case, where he consciously rejects atonement, there will never be any true peace ... Hagen and I and the others don't reject the idea of recompense, as Papa has. But we don't know how to atone for what we did to your people.”
”Your father has offered you one possible course of action,”
Kuhal said. ”Mental Man could be a force for wisdom and goodness in this galaxy.”
Her mind-veil parted briefly, letting irony escape. ”It could-if Papa and Hagen weren't part of the scheme. But I know my father better than anyone. He says that Hagen and I would be the administrators-but he'd never let us be. Not while he lived. And if my brother killed him-as he would, inevitably-Mental Man would carry the mark of Cain, just like all the rest of the human race.”
”And mine,” Kuhal said.
Her mind flashed a smile. ”You do understand.”
”We understand each other, Cloud. And I think you speak of this now only to bolster your courage, for you know very well what you must do, what decision you must make-and convince your brother to share.”
”Hagen's going to be terribly afraid, Kuhal. Back on Ocala, when Alexis Manion first began to talk to us about the Unity as an alternative to Papa's plan, Hagen was almost paralysed at the very notion of defiance. As much as he feared Papa and wanted to escape, the thought of confronting a Galactic Mind in the Milieu-becoming a part of it-frightened him still more.
We're a self-centred lot, we Remillards. Jealous of our individuality.”
”Don't I know that!” The yearning insufficiency reached out to her. The need. ”And love does mean a surrender of some part of the heart's sovereignty. But not subordination, Cloud.
Not in real love. And not in this Unity we must all join, either, if it is as Elizabeth's mind shows it. Your father's rejection of the Unity was part of his greater rejection of love in favour of power.”
”You're wrong! Papa does love us. And he loved Mama to the point of unreason. He's pa.s.sionately concerned with the welfare of the human race-”
”In the abstract, perhaps. But not the untidy, b.l.o.o.d.y-minded verity of real people.”
She refused to respond to this.
Kuhal said, ”I understand very well why your father was called the Angel of the Abyss. The G.o.ddess leads and teaches her children, trying to bring them to maturity, and weeps over their obtuseness. But Abaddon would force his offspring into perfection.”
Cloud's mind smiled. ”You don't know how lucky you Tanu are to have perceived deity as a G.o.ddess. Mothers are much more inclined to let their children grow up at their own pace.”
They came to the garden gate. The lights of the city twinkled through the open woodland and they heard crowd noises. The sound of music was much louder, the pipes wailing some restless chase tune.
”Do you think you'll have much trouble convincing Hagen?”
Kuhal asked.
”I'll have most of the others on my side, with the princ.i.p.al exception of Nial Keogh, who's a vicious little power seeker.
Some of them, like Diane Manion, are simply timid about going to the Milieu and more inclined to accept the devil we know rather than the one we don't. But I think I'll be able to handle things. You'll help, won't you? Thanks to your advice, I was able to do a pretty good job smoothing over the mess after that stupid attack on the King's life at the iron foundry. No doubt you'll be able to suggest some ploys for dealing with this situation as well.”
”Politicking,” he said whimsically. ”Why shouldn't I know the game? I've been at it for more than four hundred years.”
<script>