Part 15 (2/2)

”Katie, if you're thinking about undoing the rest of the b.u.t.tons on this s.h.i.+rt, or maybe taking something else off-”

”I've got plans along those lines.”

”I was hoping you might, but I've got to tell you, I'm kinda nervous about it.”

”Nervous? Sam, I don't believe you.”

”You haven't seen all the scars yet.”

”You don't really think these scars matter to me, do you?”

”Well, besides a mess of burns . . . Oh, yeah, do that . . . just like that, with your mouth . . . Ah, Katie, you've got the sweetest, hottest mouth.”

”Help me with the buckle, Sam. I want to see you.”

”There's burns, like the ones you've already seen. And they did . . . Here-let me get my shoes . . . They did some pretty serious cutting on my leg.”

”I promise, I won't stare like I did the first time.”

”Honey, you can stare all you want.”

”Not at the scars, though. Oh, Sam, you're . . . Oh, my . . .”

With soft, brief kisses, with the unmistakable trembling of his hands, with approving murmurs and deep, shuddering sighs, he let her know what she did to him every time she touched him. And he made it seem as if their touching each other was the most natural thing in the world. When the last of their clothing eventually fell to the floor, there wasn't a hint of nervousness or uncertainty in the way she pulled back the covers, sat on the bed, and opened her arms to him.

Placing a knee on the mattress beside her, he curled a hand around the back of her neck and leaned down to kiss her, feeling as he did so that this was the beginning. The real beginning of the life he'd been given a year ago. So far, he'd only been surviving, watching the empty s.p.a.ce inside him grow larger, until that's all there was. But in making love with Katie, it seemed as if he was taking the initial step toward filling that empty s.p.a.ce, and he was choosing something-someone-to put into it who meant more to him than anyone ever had before.

He came down to her knowing that this was the most completely right thing he'd ever done in his life. And as he wrapped her body against his in that first breathless, flesh-to-flesh embrace, he thought about how it would be to go on filling up the days and nights with the same rightness he felt at that moment, kissing, touching, coming to know the woman in his arms.

He hadn't a doubt in his mind that she would last a man a lifetime. Warm and tender and full of an honest, almost innocent pa.s.sion, she was everything he'd known she'd be. But he hadn't really known, because there'd been no woman like this for him. There hadn't been a woman whose lips melded so softly with his or whose mouth tasted this good. None whose pa.s.sionate responses matched his so exactly and with such ease. No woman who felt so perfectly shaped for him, or whose body, entwined with his, gave him such pleasure.

And, oh, it was a pleasure to touch her. To touch her face and her soft, soft skin. To get lost in those long, silky ropes of hair. To hold her beautiful b.r.e.a.s.t.s, to shape them and suck on them and bury his face between them, and to hear her moan and feel her hips move against him, and to know the pleasure was not his alone. To feel the giving crush of her belly against the throbbing demand of his erection . . . to sink his fingers into her hot, creamy folds and watch her body arch as she gasped his name. Then, to have her reach for him, to feel her mouth and hands all over him; to hear her sighs and murmurs and sultry sounds of arousal as she learned his body . . . to lie trembling under the erotic perfection of her selfless loving and watch the last remnants of the jaded life he'd led slip away.

If he lived another hundred lifetimes, he would never forget the moment he slid inside her. The catch in her voice as she whispered his name. The clutch of her fingers on his back. The satin of her thighs embracing his hips. The tightness and slick heat of her stretching to take him. He'd never forget the way her gaze held his and the world seemed to fade away, everything important coming together in the wordless look that pa.s.sed between them.

The look held them as surely as any lock as their bodies fell effortlessly into an easy, timeless rhythm. A rhythm that built the pleasure slowly. Slow enough to savor each long, gliding thrust. Slow enough to notice every subtle s.h.i.+ft in pressure, and to appreciate every change in each other's expression. Slow enough to forget how long they'd been joined this way and nearly enough to forget where they were going, because the getting there was such an everlasting pleasure.

They came together as naturally as the sun rising in the sky-the pearly blush appearing on the horizon, the first glimmering ray darting over the edge. Then the burst, the radiant beams, s.h.i.+mmering through the heavens. The steady, pulsing heat of it. The fiery brilliance as it rose higher and higher. And the light. The bright, unearthly light that poured into the mind and filled the senses with the wonder and beauty and power of it.

It wasn't heaven. But it was a piece of it. And all he'd had to do to have it was let himself die in Katie' s arms.

Spent and shaking, his sweat-slicked body still atop hers, he dragged his head around on the pillow to brush her cheek with his lips. When he tasted the salty wetness of tears, he spoke in a rasping whisper.

”Katie. . . ?”

”Oh, Sam . . .” Her head turned toward him, her lips seeking his, kissing him over and over, soft, trembling kisses that told him her tears weren't anything he needed to worry about. They were only her way of saying what he couldn't have put into words, either. G.o.d, he almost could have cried himself.

But even if he could have let himself cry, he didn't have the energy left for it. He was too tired, and too bone-deep satisfied, to do anything but roll to his back, taking Katie with him to hold her close. Only a small, unwelcome voice in a corner of his mind kept him from drifting off.

So, what are you going to do now? the voice nagged. What about the big plan? Remember that? The plan where you hid out for a while, got yourself together, then left to go back to work?

Yeah, he remembered, but it didn't look like he would be going back to work. h.e.l.l, he didn't want to go anywhere any time soon.

Fine, the voice returned. And it's real smart, isn't it, getting stuck on this woman, when all it's going to take is one person with a big mouth witnessing one of your handy little tricks, and it's California all over again? Face it. This is nice, and maybe it's the best thing you've ever had, but it won't last. It never does. And the more stuck on her you get, the worse it's going to feel when you've got to leave. You're going to lose it. You're going to lose her. So don't go getting any ideas.

But he couldn't help getting ideas. And he couldn't imagine walking away from Katie. Not yet. Not after they'd just . . .

Sam's eyes flew open at a sudden, unbidden thought. ”d.a.m.n,” he muttered, his breath hissing out slowly.

Katie was lying with her head on his shoulder, and he felt her stiffen slightly. He hadn't realized she was still awake.

”What's wrong?” she whispered.

He hesitated, reluctant to bring it up when it was too late anyway. But there'd be the same question in the morning, so. . . .

Sliding his hand up her arm to her shoulder, he said, ”Honey, I know it's a little late to be asking, but you 're not using any birth control, are you?”

The silence that followed his question worried him. Maybe she hadn't thought of it either and was as rattled as he was, being reminded-or maybe she had thought of it, after their close call last week, but was shy about telling him that she'd taken some kind of precautions. Strangely enough, Sam didn't know which possibility worried him more. The idea of making Katie pregnant gave him an odd kind of satisfaction that he'd never felt, but the idea of having to leave her that way panicked him.

”Katie?”

He s.h.i.+fted a little, trying to get a look at her face, but she kept it turned against his chest and her arm snugged tight around his waist as she spoke.

”It's all right. I won't get pregnant.”

”Are you sure? Because-”

”It's all right. I promise.”

He relaxed, figuring either she had, in fact, taken care of things after last week, or that she meant it was a safe time in her cycle. He'd never been keen on taking chances like that, but, h.e.l.l, in her line of business, she ought to know what she was doing. Either way, it wasn't a problem-for now, at least. Later, they could talk about it. Later, they could talk about a lot of things. Talking things out with Katie was . . . well, somehow, it didn't seem so bad anymore.

Kate lay still and silent in Sam's arms, listening to the steady beat of his heart and the slow, even sounds of his breathing as he fell asleep. She'd been nearly asleep herself when he'd spoken. Now, though, her thoughts were in turmoil, and sleep was a long way off.

How could she sleep? She was lying in the arms of a man who, it was almost a hundred percent certain, could make her whole again. In all her life she'd never know why it hadn't occurred to her before; probably it had something to do with six years of being convinced it was hopeless. But of all the horrible moments she could have realized it might not be so hopeless, this was the worst. Because nothing on earth was worth the risk of losing him-and she was terribly afraid that asking him to help her would accomplish exactly that.

Lying in the semidarkness of her room, Kate looked down at the hand Sam had curled over her arm. His grasp was relaxed in sleep, his fingers twitching every so often. How would she say it to him?

Heal me, Sam. Put your hands on me and make it so I can have babies. Erase the mistake I made six years ago, because, after all, haven't I suffered for it long enough? And, by the way, I love you. And if you fix this problem for me, I'll give you some babies, and we'll have a good life together. Why, I bet, after a while, you won't even miss flying anymore.

Sure, he'd say. We'll have a great life. When we run through the money I made doing what I like and do best, I'll get some job that pays the bills. And maybe, on the side, I could cure people for you, too. You know, like I cured your nephew and that man you couldn't keep from dying. And like I cured you so you could have the babies you've always wanted more than anything else in the world.

But she wouldn't have what she wanted. She wouldn't have him.

Kate had no doubt that if she asked Sam to heal her, he would try. But would he still feel safe and trusting enough to bare his soul to her as he had a while ago, or to make love with her as he had, or to lie here with her like this? Or would he feel used? And would she become to him just like all the others? The ones in California who'd wanted him for what he could give them. The ones who'd made him feel like a freak. The ones who'd nearly broken him before he'd finally had to leave.

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